Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: How To Write A Story (Part 3)
Apr 22, 2024
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Therapist Wendell Moss discusses writing a story about trauma and sexual experiences in part 3 of the series. Topics include impactful storytelling, engaging the senses, memory imperfections, navigating complex emotions, and using story work for healing and connection.
Focus on a specific event in storytelling to avoid excessive backstory and enhance narrative depth.
Embrace emotional truth in storytelling to explore personal narratives authentically, even in the absence of concrete details.
Deep dives
The Importance of Writing a Focused Story with Specific Details
When writing a story, it is crucial to focus on a specific event rather than scattering details across various timelines. Story expert Marcus Spar emphasizes the need to avoid excessive backstory and instead remain focused on the core narrative. By highlighting sensory details like sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch, storytelling becomes vivid and compelling, inviting readers to fully immerse themselves in the experience. Including emotional details helps convey the internal landscape of the storyteller, fostering empathy and understanding.
Navigating Memories with Focused Writing
When recalling memories for storytelling, it is essential to work with what is remembered and known rather than fixating on forgotten details. Drawing from personal experiences, such as a twin's differing recollections of the same event, illustrates the subjectivity of memory. Embracing the emotional truth of a story, even when specific facts may be hazy, enables a deeper exploration of one's narrative without the pressure to fill in every gap.
Balancing Desires and Fear in Storytelling
The podcast episode delves into the complex interplay of desires and fears within personal narratives. Wendell's story reflects a blend of curiosity, longing, fear, shame, and confusion surrounding sexuality and abuse. The exploration of how desires - to be liked, to be seen, and to understand - can both compel and terrify individuals, especially in contexts where shame and societal expectations loom large.
Embracing Vulnerability Through Storytelling
The power of vulnerability in storytelling emerges as a recurring theme throughout the podcast episode. By bravely sharing deeply personal narratives, individuals like Wendell offer glimpses into their emotional landscapes, fears, and hopes. The act of storytelling not only aids personal healing but also fosters connection and empathy among listeners. Vulnerability allows for the unveiling of truths, complexities, and layers within one's story, leading to profound self-discovery and communal understanding.
Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com
Wendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator at The Allender Center. Wendell serves as adjunct faculty at The Seattle School Of Theology & Psychology. Email Wendell at bishopmoss@gmail.com
Marcus Spaur is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Inner Child Recovery Specialist, and CCAR Coach. Marcus is the founder of Between The Covers Coaching. Learn more at betweenthecoverscoaching.com
Chris Inman (M.Div, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Certified Professional Recovery Coach. Chris is the founder of Porn-Free Masculinity. Email Chris at chris@np-recovery.com
Resources For Story Writing (including paid links):