How Can I Get Along with My In-Laws?

Dec 3, 2025

Guest

Jenny Teo

Guest

Raymond Teo

Raymond and Jenny Teo, founders of Ten Butter Fingers and married for 25 years, share their journey navigating in-law dynamics. They reveal how early tensions around visits led to conflicts due to varying expectations. By prioritizing their marriage and finding creative routines, they eased pressures. They emphasize the importance of empathy, reminding listeners that in-laws are learning too. Moreover, they discuss the need for a united front and consulting each other before commitments, ensuring balance and respect in family relationships.

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ANECDOTE

Weekly Visits Spark Early Conflict

Raymond and Jenny initially clashed over weekly visits to Raymond's parents because of busy schedules and growing family demands.
The tension grew as children arrived and household responsibilities increased, making routine visits feel burdensome.

INSIGHT

Loving Your Spouse Helps Love Parents

Raymond realised Jenny was trying to help him love his parents, not undermine him, which shifted his approach.
Loving your spouse first can enable both partners to love their parents better together.

ADVICE

Change Routines To Preserve Couple Time

Try honouring parents differently by changing routines like visiting on Sunday after church or bringing them lunch instead of Saturday dinners.
Be creative with arrangements to protect couple time while still showing care.

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Series: What I Wish I Knew Before Getting Married

In this episode, we’re tackling a question many couples wrestle with: How can I get along with my in-laws?

As we step into fresh roles in marriage and family life, it’s important to remember that our parents and in-laws are also navigating their own transitions. Just as we were never formally taught how to be spouses or parents, they too were never taught how to be mothers-or fathers-in-law. We’re all learning—together.

Join our host, Hosanna, as she speaks with Raymond and Jenny Teo—founders of Ten Butter Fingers and married for 25 years—as they recall how managing in-law relationships was a major source of tension early in their marriage. With many responsibilities, even scheduling a simple meal with both sets of parents felt overwhelming—and they realised they had little time for themselves. But learning to see things from their parents’ perspective reshaped how they responded. They chose to love and honour their parents while finding solutions that worked for their family.

Watch the Connect2 Vodcast series to engage further—just click the link to uncover so much more.

Sign up here to create an account with Focus on the Family Singapore to access a wide range of marriage and parenting resources designed to nurture and strengthen your family relationships.

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