Caring for Children While Healing from Betrayal

When betrayal happens in a marriage, the emotional impact on a betrayed partner is overwhelming. But what about the children? How can a mother (or father) navigate their own healing while still being present for their children?

In this powerful episode, we’re joined by Dr. Jenet Erickson, an expert in family relationships and maternal mental health. She shares research-backed insights into the connection between mothers and children, how emotional regulation plays a role in both healing and parenting, and why you don’t have to be a perfect parent for your child to thrive.

If you’ve ever felt guilt or fear about how your trauma is affecting your kids, this episode offers hope, encouragement, and practical ways to show up for your children while also taking care of yourself.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
⏳ [04:00] – The unseen impact of betrayal trauma on parenting
⏳ [07:10] – The science behind mother-child attachment and emotional regulation
⏳ [16:00] – The myth of shielding children from emotions—and why they need honesty instead
⏳ [20:00] – How taking care of your own healing benefits your children long-term
⏳ [24:10] – The power of small daily rituals (and why they matter more than hours of time)
⏳ [26:00] – How healing is possible no matter how much time has passed
⏳ [34:00] – Why your presence matters more than perfection in parenting

Key Takeaways:
✅ Children are resilient—they don’t need perfect parents, just present and emotionally engaged ones.
✅ Healing yourself first is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children.
✅ Small, predictable moments of connection (like bedtime stories or shared meals) are more important than constant time together.
✅ Children can handle emotions—what they struggle with is when their emotions are ignored or denied.
✅ It’s never too late to heal. Even if your children are grown, your healing still impacts them in powerful ways.

🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust 
If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help. 

📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program 

If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:
✅ A structured healing roadmap
✅ Live Q&A sessions with me
✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets
✅ Confidential and secure access

Let’s Stay Connected:
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About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.

About Jody Steurer:
Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.

About Jenet Erickson:
Jenet Jacob Erickson is an associate professor in Religious Education at Brigham Young University, where teaches the Eternal Family (Rel 200) course as well as the Introduction to Family Process (SFL 160) course for the School of Family Life. The 5th of 11 children, she was raised on a small farm in Orem, Utah, where they did lots of music together. She received a PhD in Family Social Science from the University of Minnesota, after completing a bachelor’s degree in Nursing, and master’s degree in Linguistics -TESOL at BYU. She is a research fellow of both the Wheatley Institute and the Institute for Family Studies and has been a columnist on family issues for the Deseret News since 2013. She and her husband, Michael, have been blessed with two children, LaDawn (age 13) and Peter (age 10), who provide them unending opportunities for learning and joy.

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/jenet-erickson/designed-for-covenant-relationships/

The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Episode 286