PsycHacks Episode 448: The problem with self-respect (most hills are not worth dying on)
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Jul 22, 2024 Exploring the downside of prioritizing self-respect, this podcast discusses how it can lead to sub-optimal outcomes. Balancing self-respect and achieving objectives is crucial for success and maintaining healthy relationships.
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Self-Respect Has Hidden Costs
- Self-respect is not purely positive; it comes with costs like any other value.
- Misunderstanding self-respect as always good leads to suboptimal prioritization in life.
Three Goals of Interaction
- Marshall Linehan defines three goals in any human interaction: objective effectiveness, relationship effectiveness, and self-respect effectiveness.
- Ideally, all three are achieved, but this is often rare and requires prioritization.
Extreme Prioritization Examples
- Prioritizing objective effectiveness means aggressively pursuing your goals at any relationship cost.
- Prioritizing relationship effectiveness means sacrificing your desires to keep others happy.
- Prioritizing self-respect means standing your ground at all costs, even if it damages relationships or objectives.