094: Intrinsic Courage vs Liquid Courage: How Much Do We Depend on Booze in Sex and Dating? Sexual Liberation Without Alcohol feat. Tawny Lara

In this episode, Vee and Elle chat all things sober sex with Tawny Lara! She is the author of Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze and co-author of The Sobriety Deck, co-host of the Recovery Rocks podcast, and co-founder of the NA botanical spirit, (parentheses).


***You don't need to be sober or even sober-curious to get something out of this conversation! Have you ever had a situation when you couldn't drink and felt a little weird or  uncomfortable? The girls chat about how to deal with that discomfort, where it's coming from, and how to turn to intrinsic courage rather than liquid courage to have better sex and better dates.***


Can we still go out without drinking? Or does not being able to drink make us too uncomfortable to socialize? Life Circumstances that force us not to drink. (00:38)

Sober Curious: Does less alcohol lead to more creativity? Get curious about your relationship with alcohol. (4:49)

Dating Yourself: The importance of working on the self in any relationship. (11:05)

The Physiology Behind Alcohol in the Body: you can’t selectively numb. If you’re numbing anxiety, you’re also numbing the pleasure centers! (20:00)

Sober-Friendly Date Ideas: DO something! Experiential dates over sit-and-talk-over-a-drink dates. (30:28) 

Parentheses: all about Tawny's slow-sipping, small batch spirits with a vinegar base, and the health benefits of vinegar! (34:51)

Rituals to Get Sexy: figure out what your goal is in different circumstances which you drink - is it to loosen up? To feel sexy? etc. …and what can we do instead? (42:48)

Sexuality Post-Sobriety: Getting honest about what you really want when you’re not numbing. Living in evolution.  (49:23)

“Coming Out” as Sober: What are the best ways to disclose that you don’t drink or at least aren't drinking tonight? Should you put it on your dating profile? Should you tell them at the date? Before? (52:25) 

The Sobriety Deck: an easy, digestible self-help tool to use when you need support in not using liquid courage. (56:31)

Final Nuggets of Wisdom! (58:26)

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