#248 Todd Shackelford & Viviana Weekes-Shackelford: Mating After Children

Oct 28, 2019

Dr. Todd Shackelford, a distinguished psychology professor, and Dr. Viviana Weekes-Shackelford, a sociology expert, dive into the fascinating interplay between parenting and relationships. They discuss how motherhood alters mating preferences, emphasizing emotional stability over physical traits. The couple also highlights the impact of parental roles on dating dynamics, the significance of support systems for single parents, and the complexities of introducing new partners into the family. Together, they explore the psychological implications for both parents and children in this evolving landscape.

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INSIGHT

Parenting-Mating Trade-Offs

Parenting and mating efforts involve a fundamental trade-off where investing more in one reduces resources for the other.
Parenting demands adapt people's mating psychology, especially when existing mating relationships dissolve.

INSIGHT

Women Shift Mate Preferences Post-Children

Women's mate preferences shift after having children toward emotional stability and dependability.
Physical attractiveness becomes less important once children are involved.

INSIGHT

Step-Parents and Child Risk

Step-parents significantly increase the risk of child abuse, neglect, and even filicide.
Kin relatives like mothers or sisters rarely pose such risks during child-rearing.

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Dr. Todd Shackelford is a Distinguished Professor and Chair of Psychology at Oakland University, as well as the Co-Director of the Evolutionary Psychology Lab there. He is the editor in chief of the academic journals Evolutionary Psychology and Evolutionary Psychological Science. He is a fellow of the American Psychological Association and the Association for Psychological Science.

Dr. Viviana Weekes-Shackelford received her Ph.D. in evolutionary developmental psychology in 2011 from Florida Atlantic University. She is currently Visiting Assistant Professor in Sociology and Criminal Justice at Oakland University and Co-Director of the Evolutionary Psychology Lab. Her research over the years has been evolutionarily inspired and has had the broader goal of gaining a more comprehensive understanding of violence and conflict in families and romantic relationships. Her research interests and record cut across the psychological domains of forensics, development, social, personality, clinical, and criminology.

In this episode, we talk about what happens in people’s mating lives after they have children. We talk about the trade-offs people need to make between mating and parenting. We refer to how children might get exposed to more violence from step-parents, and how women don’t necessarily need men to raise children adequately. We also discuss how men tend to be more violent, even toward their own children, and the issue of differential investment by paternal and maternal grandparents. We then go into the ways having children might affect their parents’ romantic relationship, and how there are different outcomes for different couples. We also talk about the several ways single parents (both men and women) might see their mate value decrease. Toward the end we also speculate a bit, and discuss why children probably don’t interfere with their parents having more children, and why witnessing their parents having sex and seeing naked people probably does not have a negative impact on children.

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