How to Talk to Your Adult Children About a Covert Narcissistic Parent Without Badmouthing

Dec 4, 2025

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Talking to your adult children about a covert narcissistic parent is one of the hardest and most emotionally loaded challenges survivors face. You’re carrying years of truth inside you — experiences that shaped your life, your self-concept, your safety, and in many cases, the childhood environment your kids grew up in. And yet, speaking that truth openly can feel dangerous. It can feel like badmouthing. It can feel like you’re putting your children in the middle. It can feel like you’re betraying them or burdening them.

But silence isn’t healing either.
And your children will eventually have questions — real, hard, vulnerable questions.

In this episode, we break down exactly how to navigate those conversations with honesty, clarity, and emotional integrity. You’ll learn how to talk about your lived experience without attacking their other parent, how to answer direct questions using grounded truth rather than character statements, and how to model the healthy communication and relational skills your children never got to see growing up.

We explore:

Why defending yourself often backfires — and what to do instead
How to focus on values rather than the other parent’s behavior
How to give your children the freedom to think for themselves
How to model emotional safety, regulation, accountability, and repair
What to say when they ask, “Why did you leave?” or “Did you fight a lot?”
How your healing teaches them more than your explanations ever will

This episode is filled with real stories, practical examples, and compassionate guidance for every parent walking the tightrope between truth and protection. If you feel misunderstood by your adult children, if you’ve been unfairly judged, or if you're afraid to say the wrong thing — this conversation will help you find your footing again.

Because you can talk to your children about what happened.
You can honor your truth without dishonoring theirs.
And you can be the safe, grounded parent they return to as they begin making sense of their own story.

THE INFORMATION PROVIDED BY RENEE SWANSON, COVERT NARCISSISM PODCAST, AND CNG LIFE COACHING IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT TO BE USED FOR DIAGNOSIS PURPOSES AND NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.

THIS MATERIAL DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL. RENEE SHARES STORIES FROM HER PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS FROM THOSE SHE HAS TALKED WITH FOR SEVERAL YEARS. HER MATERIAL DOES NOT CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON HAS NARCISSISM AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS MATERIAL TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION OR SUPPORT A CLAIM THAT ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE MATERIAL AND INFORMATION PROVIDED.

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