I’m so excited that Michelle Icard is back today to chat about her newest book: 8 Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success.  

Michelle shares with me how parents can best support their adolescents through setbacks and why we can’t swoop in to fix everything for them.  She explains her three steps to take when dealing with a problem: contain, resolve, & evolve, and we touch on where consequences show up.  Kids are always going to make more mistakes, and it’s critical that we allow children to learn from those mistakes.  Michelle and I tease apart how much credit we take for our kids’ behavior - good and bad, and we talk about how hard it can be to balance staying “fiercely committed & lovingly detached” to our teens.  Michelle has an awesome analogy about how toughening up our teens & encouraging grit is like a greenhouse keeper hardening their plants.  We agree that we don’t need to create a tough environment for our kids though - that already exists, and we end sharing a few successes & outcomes that can follow the hard times.

Takeaways from the show

• Setbacks and failures make us smarter and better 
• How to best support your adolescent through setbacks 
• Mistakes are opportunities to learn 
• 3 steps to take while dealing with failure 
• Kids & teens must learn through their own experiences 
• Kids are going to continue to make mistakes - that doesn’t mean they aren’t learning 
• Your kids aren’t part of your brand 
• “Fiercely committed, lovingly detached” 
• Children shouldn’t be burdened by our emotions 
• How can teens toughen up & build resiliency

For more show notes, including transcripts, see our website here.

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