Mae Martin, an award-winning comedian known for their roles in "Feel Good" and "The Flight Attendant," dives into sexuality with humor and honesty. They share how their sex-positive upbringing shaped their understanding of attraction and gender as fluid expressions. The conversation explores practical ways to spice up routines, the impact of addiction on relationships, and the importance of open discussions about identity. Mae urges listeners to embrace authenticity and self-exploration in their personal and sexual lives.
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insights INSIGHT
Sexuality is Universal
Sexuality is for everyone, not just queer people. Straight individuals also have unique sexual preferences.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Early Sex Talk
Mae Martin's mom used hand-drawn diagrams to explain sex, including different gender combinations.
This early, sex-positive education helped Mae feel comfortable with sexuality.
question_answer ANECDOTE
No Need to Come Out
Mae's parents never assumed their children's sexuality and always asked about "girlfriends or boyfriends".
This inclusive approach spared Mae from the pressure of formally coming out.
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Can the Monster Speak? A Report to an Academy of Psychoanalysts
Paul B. Preciado
In this book, Preciado addresses the French Academy of Psychoanalysts, challenging the traditional psychoanalytic views on gender and sexuality. He argues that psychoanalysis is structured around rigid male/female and normal/abnormal boundaries, which are outdated and complicit with heteropatriarchal and colonial violence. The speech, which was met with hostility and booing, calls for a new epistemology that acknowledges the diversity of living bodies beyond their heterosexual reproductive capabilities. The book is a critical examination of the need for psychoanalysis to adapt to contemporary understandings of gender and sexuality[1][3][4].
Can Everyone Please Calm Down?
Mae Martin
In 'Can Everyone Please Calm Down?', Mae Martin delves into the complex and often misunderstood realms of modern sexuality and identity. The book is a blend of personal stories, historical and cultural insights, and humorous observations. Martin argues that sexuality is a dynamic spectrum rather than a fixed point, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance, resilience, and open dialogue. The book encourages readers to question societal norms and explore their identities without external pressures, promoting a more inclusive and understanding society. Martin's use of humor serves as a coping mechanism and a way to break down barriers, creating connections and promoting empathy[1][3][4].
1. Mae, Glennon, Abby, and Amanda each explore their sexuality by delving into what sexually attracts each of them.
2. The sex-positive way Mae’s parents taught them about sex – and orgasm(!) – and how they never made assumptions about Mae's sexuality.
3. Gender as creative expression and a way to have fun.
4. Simple ways to switch up the monotony of routine; to transform boredom into exploration; and dopamine-infused alternatives for addictive personality types.
5. How fear of abandonment / fear of dependence can take over our lives.
About Mae:
Mae Martin is an award-winning comedian, actor, writer, and producer who can be seen starring in Feel Good, which they also created and co-wrote. Mae is currently in development with their upcoming scripted project Programmed for Netflix and stars in season 2 of The Flight Attendant on HBO Max.
Mae Martin's Guide To… series about sexuality and addiction are available to listen to on BBC Sounds. Mae is also the author of Can Everyone Please Calm Down?: A Guide to 21st Century Sexuality.
We Can Do Hard Things 
