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248. How to Set, Achieve & Exceed Brainy Goals (Refreshed Episode)

Dec 27, 2022

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Today’s episode is all about brainy goals — how to set them and think about them to put you on a path to success, instead of inadvertently setting yourself up to fail. Now, you would never intentionally set up goals that won’t work out, but our brains are programmed in a way that makes it so we consistently stack the cards against ourselves. We try to do too much, spread ourselves too thin, rely on willpower to get us through, and don’t understand the importance that tiny habits play in our ability to accomplish big things.

At this time of year (this is the second to last episode before we close out 2022) most people are thinking about planning and what the next year will bring for them. How things will be different, what they want to accomplish, what habits they want to change if they will plan resolutions (and if so...what they are), and the like. That’s why I decided to refresh this episode from 2019 right now. It felt like the perfect way to end the year, especially in light of this coming Friday’s topic! That episode is a panel of sorts that incorporates expert advice on how to have a happier 2023 and set your year up for success.

So to get you in the right mindset preparing for that, and just because it is probably something you are already thinking about right now, it felt like the right time to talk about goals. I get a lot done — two podcast episodes a week, a weekly newsletter, two books in less than two years, teaching and creating my courses for Texas A&M, speaking, consulting, and still having time for an enjoyable life with my family. The only way that is possible is by tackling and thinking about goals in a brainy way. Listen in to hear all my tips and tricks.

Show Notes:

[00:23] Today’s episode is all about brainy goals — how to set them and think about them to put you on a path to success, instead of inadvertently setting yourself up to fail.
[05:17] We all have goals and are all optimistic that we will achieve them someday. The truth is that if you don’t set your goals up correctly there is a good chance life will move too fast and you won’t achieve what you are capable of.
[05:52] There are three main tips for setting and achieving brainy goals. Define your goals and limit them to know more than three. Break down the path to achieving those goals into small steps. Say no to everything else.
[07:11] The opposite of distraction is traction.
[09:55] Step one is to limit and set your goals. You first need to list out every goal you would like to accomplish in the next 5, 10, or 50 years.
[10:48] Now you have to pick three. If they make sense to combine and make the goal a little more amazing that’s okay but make sure it’s logical.
[12:07] Your brain doesn’t like change. It is scared of it. Keeping you stuck and dwelling on making things perfect or being really sure are tactics by your brain to delay change.
[14:06] It is important to declare and own those top goals so that everyone in your life knows what is most important and is on board with that.
[16:47] Melina shares a story about her taking a walk with her husband to the mailbox and Puerto Vallarta.
[19:25] We are sticking with goals and priorities we set in a cold state because they are what matter in our life.
[20:53] Once you know what those top three are the next step is to break each of those three goals into the small steps it will take to get there.
[22:54] You can’t do it all at once. There are a few ways you can break those down. One way I recommend is breaking the big lifetime into subgoals for the year.
[24:33] Start small with the thing that is impossible to justify not doing.
[26:17] Every goal is reached in lots of small steps. Goals are the sum of all the effort it took to get there. If you don’t plan for the small steps they won’t happen.
[26:49] Remind your brain of the top three as much as possible in as many different ways as you possibly can.
[28:17] You need to be incredibly particular about what you surround yourself with in your life, in your life, and everywhere.
[30:49] Reminding your subconscious of your goals as often as possible will help keep you on track.
[31:14] Determine what three things are really important to you. Shout them from the rooftops and put every single egg in their baskets.
[27:41] Melina’s closing thoughts

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Get the Books Mentioned on (or related to) this Episode:

Get It Done, by Ayelet Fishbach
Happier Hour, by Cassie Holmes
Indistractable, by Nir Eyal
How To Change, by Katy Milkman
Atomic Habits, by James Clear

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