Listening and acknowledging children's feelings leads to better communication and problem-solving.
Focus on describing the problem, providing information, expressing disapproval without attacking, and offering choices to encourage cooperation without resorting to negative behaviors or punishments.
Deep dives
Skill 1: Helping children deal with their feelings
To effectively communicate with children, it is important to acknowledge and validate their feelings. Instead of denying or dismissing their emotions, parents should listen with full attention, acknowledge their feelings, give the feeling a name, and grant their wishes in fantasy. By doing so, children feel understood, leading to better communication and problem-solving.
Skill 2: Encouraging cooperation without punishment
Rather than resorting to threats or commands, parents should focus on describing the problem, providing information, using one-word statements, expressing disapproval without attacking the child's character, and offering choices. By using these techniques, parents can encourage cooperation without resorting to negative behaviors or punishments.
Skill 3: Using alternatives to punishment
When children don't cooperate, parents should avoid using punishments as they often lead to negative outcomes. Instead, parents can redirect the child's energy towards something positive, express their disapproval of the behavior, state their expectations, show the child how to make amends, offer choices, and allow the child to experience the natural consequences of their actions. By using alternatives to punishment, parents can promote real reflection and understanding in their children.
Audiobook Summary of How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber
Parenting can be one of the most challenging yet fulfilling skills to master. In this book, parenting experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish present a down-to-earth, respectful approach to parenting, with useful steps and techniques that you can apply to improve and enrich your relationship with your child.
#audiobooksummary #howtotalksokidswilllistenelistensokidswilltalk #adelefaber
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