Understanding Post-Election Distress – with Michael Hilgers (straight white guy) (250)
Nov 9, 2024
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Michael Hilgers, a Licensed Professional Counselor with a knack for helping creatives, joins the hosts to unpack the emotional turmoil surrounding the 2024 election. They tackle the deep divide in families and friendships, promoting the power of empathy and vulnerable conversations. Hilgers emphasizes the importance of patience and curiosity to bridge political gaps. The discussion also explores the impact of respectful discourse and the need for unity in a divided society, urging listeners to take small, thoughtful actions toward understanding.
Navigating political identity requires empathy and open dialogue to foster understanding and healing amidst divisive sentiments.
Emotional connection and validation in relationships, especially during political unrest, are crucial for fostering intimacy and navigating distress effectively.
Deep dives
Navigating Privilege and Identity
The episode explores the complexities of being a straight white male in today's social climate, discussing feelings of confusion and responsibility regarding privilege. The guest, Michael Hilgers, articulates a desire to navigate this identity carefully, feeling the pressure to either project strength or retreat to a smaller presence to avoid overwhelming others. This tension reflects a broader societal discussion about representation and accountability, emphasizing the struggle to balance personal identity with the collective narrative of privilege and its implications. Through sharing personal experiences, Hilgers highlights the need for dialogue and understanding around these identity-related challenges.
Emotional Responses to Political Division
The conversation addresses the emotional aftermath of a contentious presidential election, acknowledging feelings of shock, dismay, and anger across the political spectrum. Many individuals, especially those invested in progressive values, experience profound distress following the election results, while some do not understand the weight of the reaction. Those on both sides of the divide are urged to engage in discussions that seek nuance and empathy rather than creating deeper divisions. This effort aims to foster connection and healing amidst the prevalent feelings of betrayal and fear that accompany political tensions.
Importance of Emotional Connection in Relationships
The need for emotional connection among partners, particularly during periods of heightened political anxiety, is emphasized as a crucial aspect of relationship health. Many men tend to approach their partners' distress with problem-solving behavior instead of recognizing and validating their emotions, often leading to frustration and disconnection. Instead, it's suggested that men should sit with their partners in discomfort and acknowledge their feelings without rushing to resolve the situation. Creating a space for empathy and understanding allows couples to foster deeper emotional bonds and navigate challenging times together more effectively.
Bridging Division Through Compassionate Dialogue
The episode highlights the importance of engaging in compassionate dialogue between individuals with differing political beliefs to mitigate rising tensions. Emphasizing the need for patience, the discussion encourages listeners to approach conversations with curiosity rather than judgment and to seek to understand the emotional motivations behind political choices. By prioritizing empathy, individuals can create spaces for meaningful conversations that acknowledge pain without dismissing or trivializing it, fostering connection instead of division. This approach serves as a constructive way to nurture relationships through the complexities of political disagreements.
Many are baffled by the so strong feelings around the 2024 election results – let us help you get it.
Families are dividing, couples are blowing up and neighbors are being cut off. When you are close to someone who didn’t vote with you this year, you are likley in some distress. The shock and pain for some groups after the election and the corresponding lack of understanding is a recipe for dysregulation.
We explore the complexities of political identity, emotional responses, and the impact of political discourse on all of our personal relationships in the wake of a divisive presidential election. Ann and Sue, alongside Michael Hilgers, LPC, emphasize the need for deeper conversations that transcend binary thinking and the significance of co-regulation in healing and fostering unity amidst division. They explore the challenges of navigating relationships where political views differ, emphasizing the value of patience, compassion, and open curiosity to foster understanding.
The conversation touches on the risks of lasting family divides and underscores the importance of creating safe, respectful spaces for meaningful conversations. Ultimately, it encourages empathy and small, thoughtful steps toward more compassionate communication.
“We all play a role in this democracy. We need to remember the power of every vote. I continue, too, to keep myself connected to a force that’s larger and more potent than any one election, or leader, or news story—and that’s optimism. For me, this is a form of faith, an antidote to fear.” – Michelle Obama
00:00 Navigating identity
02:52 The aftermath of the 2024 Presidential election based on gender
06:09 Understanding huge emotional responses for those who care
08:56 The difficulty of empathy and connection when stakes are high
15:01 Co-regulation
17:54 The role of historical trauma in reactions to current events
20:56 Is common ground possible?
25:32 Betrayal
27:09 Listening and holding space rather than fixing it
29:31 Patience in difficult conversations
30:35 Political divides in relationships
32:00 The risk of permanent divisions
39:18 Concrete steps for compassionate communication
42:08 Addressing name-calling and intentional humiliation
About our Guest – Michael Hilgers, LPC
Michael Hilgers, LPC is a licensed Professional Counselor who maintains an online Counseling Practice specializing in work with Creatives and Entrepreneurs. After almost 25 years in Austin, Tx, he moved to the mountains of Northern New Mexico where he works with clients from around the globe.
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