Ep 370 Therapists Have Messy Marriages Too | with Desirae Ysasi

Zach welcomes Desirae Ysasi for her first appearance as a guest co-host—and what unfolds is a warm, insightful, and occasionally awkward conversation about parenting, marriage, culture, and therapist life. From Desirae’s daughter offering podcast advice (“don’t be weird”) to Zach’s reflections on parenting adult children, the two therapists pull back the curtain on their real lives.

They explore how therapists experience their own relationships, what it means to “cherish” your partner, and why Desirae believes couples can still struggle with conflict even when they have all the tools. Their honesty and laughter make space for listeners to reflect on their own relationships—not from a place of performance, but of grace, learning, and genuine care.

This episode is the first of a three-part series with Desirae, and it sets the tone beautifully: smart, soulful, and full of moments that might just help you feel softer toward yourself or your partner.

Key Takeaways

• You Can Know the Tools and Still Struggle
  Desirae reveals that even as a couples therapist, conflict in her marriage doesn’t always look pretty—but what makes the difference is how she and her husband repair.
  
• Cherishing as a Daily Practice
  Cherishing isn’t about grand romantic gestures. It’s about making sure your partner has tangible access to your love and affection—in everyday moments, through small actions.
  
• Conflict Isn’t the Problem—Disconnection Is
  Desirae shares that the hardest part of conflict is not being able to be generous. What matters is not just the argument, but whether you can still be open, kind, and connected during hard moments.
  
• Therapists are People, Too
  The episode normalizes that even people trained to guide others through relationships have messy, human partnerships of their own—and that’s part of what makes the work so honest.

Guest Link

• ysasicounseling.com

• Based in San Antonio, TX

• Specializes in couples therapy, trauma, and relational healing

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