Life Examined

Attachment styles: How knowing ourselves can lead to better, more lasting relationships

Aug 19, 2023

Amir Levine, associate professor of psychiatry at Columbia University, discusses attachment theory and its impact on relationships. He explains the origins of attachment theory and how it can carry through into adulthood. The podcast explores the different attachment styles (secure, anxious, and avoidant) and their influence on closeness and fear of losing availability in relationships. It also delves into the benefits of secure attachment and the dynamics between avoidant and anxious attachment styles.

53:30

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Episode guests

Amir Levine

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Quick takeaways

Attachment is a fundamental human need that impacts our overall well-being and independence.

Understanding different attachment styles can bring clarity and insight into romantic relationships.

Deep dives

Attachment as Fundamental Human Need

Attachment is a fundamental human need, akin to basic food and water. Our ability to form secure attachments impacts our independence and overall well-being. Understanding attachment styles can bring clarity to romantic relationships.

Evolutionary Advantages of Attachment Styles

01:10

The Influence of Deprivation on Emotions and Relationship Satisfaction

01:22

Different responses to attachment styles

01:19

Comfort in Closeness and Self-reliance

01:48

Introduction

2min

Understanding the History of Attachment Theory

2min

Understanding Attachment Styles and Their Impact on Relationships

19min

Evolutionary Advantages of Different Attachment Styles

3min

The Benefits of Secure Attachment

2min

Understanding the Anxious Attachment Style in Adulthood

5min

Understanding Protest Behavior and Anxious Attachment

6min

The Dynamic Between Avoidant and Anxious Attachment Styles

13min

Amir Levine, associate professor of psychiatry at Columbia University and co-author of Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love, explains the origins and science behind attachment theory and how human bonding is a necessary element “from the moment we are born until we die.”

As infants, humans’ bond between mother or caregiver is essential, what Levine calls “a necessary element in our thriving, just as much as food and water.” When those patterns of attachment are formed, they can also carry through into adulthood and impact subsequent bonds and attachments.

Attachment theory was pioneered by British psychiatrist and child development specialist John Bowlby, whose research included working with children displaced during The Blitz in WWII London.

“What they noticed [was] even though they were able to give them food and shelter, because there were so many, they didn't pay much attention to engaging with them,” Levine explains. “A lot of these very young infants and kids failed to grow properly and develop.”

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Life Examined

Attachment styles: How knowing ourselves can lead to better, more lasting relationships

Episode guests

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Deep dives

Attachment as Fundamental Human Need

Attachment Bonds in Childhood and Adulthood

Understanding Anxious Attachment Style

Understanding Avoidant Attachment Style

Evolutionary Advantages of Attachment Styles

The Influence of Deprivation on Emotions and Relationship Satisfaction

Different responses to attachment styles

Comfort in Closeness and Self-reliance

Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts