3896 Digging for Gold

Marriage is no fairy tale without effort. It demands work, dedication, and a clear purpose to turn the ordinary into an extraordinary journey. When that effort wanes, couples find themselves facing the big 'D'—divorce. No one wants that outcome. Yet, many walk down the aisle with hope for forever, only to get distracted by the temptation of greener grass elsewhere. But the problem is that they're digging for gold in the wrong places.

Picture this: It's Black Friday, and everyone's scouring the stores, hunting for the best deals, the quickest wins, the most immediate gratification. People elbow past one another looking for the flashiest bargain, only to realize that the shiny price tag wasn't worth it.

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This frantic search mirrors what happens too often in marriage. When you dig for gold, hoping to find what suits your wants, you're likely unearthing unmet desires—not the true needs of your spouse.

Here's the hard reality: When you focus your energy on what benefits you the most, the marriage suffers.

That kind of selfishness eclipses the bigger picture—the life you're building together. You might be tending to your own needs, but if your care doesn't shift to serve your spouse in their unique ways, you're missing the point of digging for gold at all.

So how do you dig for the right gold—the kind that deposits value into your marriage account and lays a strong foundation for growth?

The K.I.S.S. ~ Dig for the right gold!

Here are three game-changing shifts to make:

1. Chase Needs, Not Wants Your spouse's true needs are the veins of gold worth mining. This might be emotional support, respect, time, or physical affection.

Wants are fleeting and surface-level—they shine for a moment but don't last. When you prioritize their deeply rooted needs, you build trust and connection. Ask yourself: What do they need to feel valued, secure, and loved?

2. Focus on Giving, Not Taking Black Friday shoppers hoard deals for themselves. Marriage demands the opposite mindset.

Serve your partner with intentionality, not through the lens of what you get back. This could be small daily acts—listening without interrupting, sharing the workload, or celebrating their wins. These deposits accumulate into a treasure chest of goodwill.

3. Align Your Goals for the Bigger Picture You're not two separate entities anymore. Your marriage is a shared venture, and its success depends on unified goals.

Set your sights on the long-term vision: building a life that reflects both your dreams, values, and commitments. Digging together in the same direction strengthens your foundation and protects against distractions.

When you commit to digging for gold with the right intention, it transforms everything. Instead of frantic digging for surface-level satisfaction, you develop a rhythm of deliberate, heartfelt effort that uncovers the true riches of marriage: connection, trust, and unwavering partnership.

So when the urge strikes to envy the grass on the other side or chase what's easiest, remember the Black Friday crowd—it's chaotic, selfish, and fleeting. Instead, dig deep, dig with purpose, and strike gold where it matters most—in your marriage.

"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"

#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage

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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson

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Music by Mandisa - Overcomer

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Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music - Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.