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Life Uncut

Conflict Affects Sex and Sex Affects Conflict. Uncut with Sexologist Lucille Shackleton

Feb 27, 2025
45:24

Lucille Shackleton is a sexologist and relationship therapist who has just released her debut book titled “All In”.

When Lucille was working with couples as a therapist, most of the training that she had done said ‘if the friendship is good the sex will be good’ but this didn’t seem to be the case in practice. So Lucille went and did a masters of sexology to figure out what some of the missing pieces to the ‘good sex’ puzzle were. One particular puzzle piece that we wanted to unpack with Lucille was how much conflict affected libido and desire. 

We unpack:

  • The love lust split 
  • Why referring to your partner as ‘mummy’ or ‘daddy’ (not in that way) can make you both stop desiring each other
  • The question of ‘do you not want sex?’ or ‘are you not having sex that you actually want?’
  • Figuring out your sex values
  • Relationship satisfaction goes up when people learn that their ‘problems’ are normal, even if they aren’t having more sex
  • The ‘narratives’ that we create about our partners & ‘core negative’ images
  • Does intention matter when it comes to conflict?
  • How much our ego comes into play during conflict
  • Sex life after giving birth
  • When one partner has a dry spell or ‘shuts up shop’ and doesn’t want sex anymore

You can find more from Lucille at her Instagram
Grab her new book

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