3 Takeaways Ask For More: 2 Questions to Negotiate Almost Anything with Columbia Law School Mediation Clinic Director Alex Carter (#106)
Aug 16, 2022
In this conversation, Alex Carter, Director of Columbia Law School's Mediation Clinic and bestselling author of *Ask For More*, shares her expertise in negotiation and conflict resolution. She reveals two powerful questions that can transform negotiations and improve everyday conversations. Alex explains why traditional questions often fail and introduces alternatives like 'what' and 'tell me' to foster deeper dialogue. Her practical approach not only benefits career negotiations but also enriches personal relationships, encouraging listeners to embrace negotiation as a vital life skill.
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Open With 'Tell Me' Then Follow Up
- Start conversations with open invitations like "Tell me" instead of closed social-script questions.
- Use "Tell me more" to follow up and gather broad, useful information before pitching.
Replace 'Why' With 'What'
- Avoid asking "why" because it triggers defensiveness and blame in others and yourself.
- Replace "why" with "what" to diagnose conditions and focus on future solutions.
Negotiation Is Steering, Not Pitching
- Negotiation is not a one-time pitch but a conversation where you steer a relationship.
- Gather information first so your proposal hits the real target instead of shooting in the dark.
