This episode explores the topic of codependency, discussing its negative effects on emotional and physical health, behaviors associated with codependency, and how it is formed starting in childhood. The hosts share personal examples and discuss the importance of emotional self-regulation and breaking codependent patterns with nervous system regulation.
Codependency involves sacrificing oneself and prioritizing the needs of others over one's own well-being, disrupting personal health and peace of mind.
Early childhood experiences, such as trauma or lack of emotional regulation skills, can contribute to the development of codependency and disrupt the nervous system's health.
Deep dives
Understanding Codependency
Codependency involves dependence on another person to the point where it negatively impacts your life, self-expression, health, peace of mind, and ability to feel safe. It is important to differentiate between codependency and interdependency. Codependency is characterized by sacrificing oneself and prioritizing the needs of others over one's own well-being, often resulting in caretaking and an entrenched relational pattern. Interdependence, on the other hand, involves mutual dependence and healthy emotional expression. Codependent relationships can be observed not only in romantic partnerships but also in friendships, business partnerships, and relationships with clients.
The Impact of Codependency on Nervous System Health
Codependent patterns can disrupt the nervous system's health and long-term physical well-being. Early childhood experiences, such as emotional neglect, trauma, or lack of emotional regulation skills, can contribute to the development of codependency. The need for attachment and security may lead individuals to prioritize maintaining attachment over their own health. Emotional self-regulation is a crucial skill that, when lacking, can result in codependent behaviors, caretaking dynamics, and emotional instability. Codependency breeds shame, loneliness, hyper-vigilance, and blurred boundaries, affecting various relationships, including friendships, business partnerships, and client relationships.
Moving Towards Healthy Interdependence
Shifting from codependency to healthy interdependence requires developing healthy ways to process and express emotions, practicing emotional regulation, and establishing strong boundaries. This involves realizing that emotions are manageable and allowing others to experience their own emotions without feeling the need to fix or sacrifice oneself. Cultivating safety within one's own nervous system plays a crucial role in establishing healthy relationships. Contrary to personality disorder labels, change is possible through intentional rewiring of the nervous system and adapting to new stimuli. By understanding and reshaping our operating systems, we can develop new patterns, experience peace, calmness, and safety within ourselves, and foster healthy, safe relationships based on mutual emotional sovereignty.
If you have a pattern of staying in unbalanced, chaotic relationships, this episode is for you. If it’s hard for you to set boundaries with friends, family or romantic partners, this episode is for you. If you fixate on the emotions of others rather than your own, this episode is for you.
These are all signs of codependency, which is the topic of this episode. Hosts Jennifer and Elisabeth discuss its negative effects on your emotional and physical health, the behaviors associated with codependency, and how they’re formed starting in childhood, diving deep into the attachment wound, our relationship with caregivers, and emotional self-regulation.
Jennifer and Elisabeth also share examples of their own codependent relationships, and how they started to recognize their codependent tendencies and learn to change them.
Tune in to gain a deep understanding of codependency and how you can break your codependency patterns!
Topics discussed in this episode:
Codependence versus interdependence
What causes codependency and how it shapes our behaviors
Signs and symptoms of codependency
How trauma impacts emotional self-regulation
Breaking codependent patterns with nervous system regulation
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