CM 189: Amanda Ripley on Breaking Free from High Conflict

Think of your family, your friends, and your colleagues. In each of these relationships, you can expect to experience conflict from time to time. Sometimes, it's unhealthy conflict that harms our relationships. Other times, it's healthy conflict that strengthens them. High conflict is something different. It happens when we view the conflict as good versus evil. It's when the walls go up. When it's about us versus them. Right versus wrong. We double down on our assumptions, maybe about people we don't even know. Ultimately, we get stuck. It's a volatile place, and a dangerous one, because it's often just a step away from dehumanization. My guest, Amanda Ripley, spent four years studying this conflict. She's an investigative journalist and author of the book, High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out. Amanda interviewed ordinary people who got caught up in high conflict, and, with effort and commitment, managed to break free. Through their stories, she explains what conflict is, how we get sucked into it, and, most importantly, how we move through it. Amanda is author of the books, The Smartest Kids in the World and Unthinkable. She writes regularly for The Atlantic and spent a decade writing for Time Magazine. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and The Guardian.  Episode Links Piranesi by Susanna Clarke Mark Lynas Gary Friedman More in Common  Baha i Faith Losing Common Ground: Social Sorting and Polarization Kim Binsted Curtis Toler and Team CRED John and Julie Gottman The Difficult Conversations Lab and Peter Coleman Ranked-choice Voting 22 Questions that 'Complicate the Narrative' The Team Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here. Support the Podcast If you like the show, please rate and review it on iTunes or wherever you subscribe, and tell a friend or family member about the show. Subscribe Click here and then scroll down to see a sample of sites where you can subscribe.