Banafsheh Rashidi, a mother who redefined success for her family after her child's medical diagnosis, reflects on dreams and challenges of motherhood. She discusses losing trust, embracing the present moment, and prioritizing making the most out of difficult situations.
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Quick takeaways
Redefining success as a parent and finding joy in everyday moments with a special needs child.
Celebrating small victories and finding happiness in the unique experiences of a special needs family.
Deep dives
Redefining expectations as a parent
This episode explores Bani's journey as a parent after her child receives a significant medical diagnosis. She had always dreamed of being a mother and had grand plans for her child's future, but those dreams were shattered when she learned about her child's condition. She went through a process of accepting the situation and redefining her expectations. Bani shares the challenges she faced, including the guilt and anxiety that consumed her initially. However, she gradually shifted her perspective and focused on finding joy in everyday moments with her child. She emphasizes the importance of living in the present and making the best of the situation, celebrating even the smallest milestones and joys of life.
Challenges faced as a special needs family
As a special needs family, Bani and her loved ones face various challenges. One of the major difficulties is assisting her daughter, Saba, as she grows and gains more independence. With severe limitations in communication, body control, and sensory issues, Bani needs to help Saba navigate daily activities and manage her emotions. The family encounters frustration, tantrums, and self-injurious behavior. Bani acknowledges the continuous progress they make but also acknowledges the ongoing challenges they face. Despite these hurdles, she emphasizes that they are a happy family and finds joy in the unique experiences they share.
Finding happiness amid adversity
Bani shares her journey of finding happiness and accepting her family's non-typical nature. Initially struggling with guilt, self-blame, and anxiety, she gradually let go of the need to be a typical family. She found joy in the present moment and shifted her focus from unattainable dreams to appreciating the smaller, meaningful moments with her daughter. Bani emphasizes the importance of reacting cheerfully to life's challenges and finding beauty and joy amidst hardship. By changing her perspective and appreciating what they have rather than lamenting what they don't, Bani has embraced happiness in her family's own unique way.
The power of celebrating small victories
Bani highlights the significance of celebrating small victories as a special needs family. From enjoying meals at their favorite restaurants to taking car rides and listening to music, the family finds joy in these shared experiences. Bani cherishes simple moments, such as her daughter's ability to ride a bicycle independently. She emphasizes that their happiness should not be measured by typical milestones but rather by the happiness they can create for themselves. Bani encourages others not to feel sorry for their family but to see them as a happy family living in their own universe, finding fulfillment and joy in the unique path they navigate together.
When Banafsheh Rashidi gave birth to her daughter, Saba, she immediately conjured up vivid images of Saba's future: passing the driver's test, graduation, and maybe even a wedding. But when Saba received a significant medical diagnosis, Banafsheh's dreams were upended. She talks to Maya about how she redefined success for her family on her own terms.
If you enjoyed this conversation, you might enjoy our episode with first responder Christy Warren. She’s another guest who started out as a listener of the show. The episode is called “A First Responder’s Call For Help.”
For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram.