🎤 How To Fail LIVE: Sophie Ellis-Bextor on surviving ladette culture, toxic relationships and finding a room of her own
Dec 8, 2022
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Sophie Ellis-Bextor discusses surviving ladette culture, toxic relationships, and finding a room of her own. Topics include being dropped by her record label, juggling multiple aspects of her life, and her thriving black market enterprise selling Blue Peter badges. The podcast also covers embracing authenticity, parenting approach, challenges of raising boys, and coping with rejection and failure.
Failure is a natural part of the journey and should be viewed as an opportunity to grow and learn.
Blaming others for failures only leads to resentment and bitterness; focus on personal growth and embrace new opportunities.
Failures and limitations can lead to unexpected opportunities and redirect one's path towards fulfilling endeavors; open communication and freedom for children to explore their interests and choices are essential.
Deep dives
Learning from Failure and Embracing Success
Sophie Ellis-Bextor, a renowned singer and mother of five, discusses the importance of learning from failure and embracing success. She reflects on her early days in the music industry when her band, The Audience, was dropped by their label, and how it initially felt like a huge failure. However, she realized that failure is a natural part of the journey and that it shouldn't be viewed as a setback but rather as an opportunity to grow and learn. Sophie also emphasizes the significance of staying true to oneself and pursuing one's passions, even when faced with obstacles. She shares insights on raising children, encouraging open communication, and allowing them to explore their own interests and choices without imposing societal expectations or restrictions.
The Impact of Failure and Blaming Others
Sophie Ellis-Bextor discusses how being dropped by her label with her first band, The Audience, was a significant failure that left her feeling lost at a young age. She acknowledges that she initially blamed others and felt humiliated by the experience. However, she realized the importance of taking responsibility and not blaming external factors for failures. Sophie emphasizes that blaming others only leads to resentment and bitterness, and instead, it's essential to focus on personal growth and embrace new opportunities that come along. Through this experience, she learned to appreciate the journey and understand that failure is not the end but a stepping stone towards future success.
Discovering Strengths in the Midst of Failure
While discussing her lack of drawing skills, a failure she admits to, Sophie Ellis-Bextor explores how her limitations in certain areas have shaped her life choices. She reveals that her inability to draw became a catalyst for pursuing her passion for singing. Sophie shares her perspective on how failures and limitations can lead to unexpected opportunities and redirect one's path towards fulfilling endeavors. Furthermore, she reflects on her parenting style, emphasizing the importance of open communication with her children and providing them with the freedom to explore their interests and choices. Sophie believes that embracing failure and recognizing individual strengths can lead to personal growth and a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Gendered Expectations and Raising Children
Sophie Ellis-Bextor discusses the challenges of raising children in a society filled with gendered expectations. She expresses her disappointment with the binary perspective society holds regarding gender and how it impacts children's choices and identities. Sophie emphasizes the importance of providing her children with options and choices to break free from gender norms. She challenges the stereotyped clothing, toys, and roles imposed on boys and girls, advocating for inclusivity and freedom of expression. Sophie aims to raise children who are accepting, supportive, and open-minded, encouraging them to embrace individuality and respect others regardless of gender or background.
Importance of Having a Room of Your Own
The speaker discusses the significance of having a physical and metaphorical room of one's own. She reflects on her experience during lockdown, where she realized the lack of personal space in her home and the need for a dedicated space for her work. Creating this space allowed her to prioritize her work and give it the attention and importance it deserved.
Dealing with Rejection and Self-Worth
The speaker shares insights on dealing with criticism and rejection. She acknowledges that criticism of her work can hurt, but she has learned to not take it personally and to understand that it often reflects more about the person giving the criticism than about her. She emphasizes the importance of knowing oneself, surrounding oneself with supportive people, and finding the silver lining in failures and rejections.
All this week, I'll be dropping the recordings of our How To Fail live shows, held at Shoredtich Town Hall earlier this year.
Today it's the turn of the very lovely Sophie Ellis-Bextor. The kitchen disco queen joins us to talk about being dropped by her record label, being rubbish at drawing and the challenges of juggling all the different aspects of her life (tbf she does have five children). Along the way, we discover she used to have a thriving black market enterprise selling Blue Peter badges in the playground - the SHOCK!
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This episode was recorded live at Shoreditch Town Hall on 7th October 2022 and sponsored by Beija London https://beija.london/
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How To Fail With Elizabeth Day is hosted and produced by Elizabeth Day. To contact us, email howtofailpod@gmail.com
