2124: Managing vs. Resolving Conflict in Relationships: The Blueprints for Success by Dr. Marni Feuerman with Gottman
Apr 3, 2024
11:07
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Dr. Marni Feuerman discusses managing conflict in relationships, highlighting that most issues are unsolvable. She emphasizes the importance of effectively navigating disagreements, understanding different perspectives, and fostering communication and growth in partnerships.
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Quick takeaways
Managing conflict is crucial in relationships as most disputes are unsolvable, emphasizing understanding over resolution.
Fostering growth in relationships involves exploring core needs, finding compromises, and moving from gridlock to dialogue.
Deep dives
Conflict Blueprint No. 1: Managing Current Conflicts
When dealing with current conflicts, it's essential for both partners to express their positions clearly and calmly before using persuasion tactics. This involves practicing emotions and listening skills, taking turns to speak with no interruptions. Effective strategies include taking breaks to calm down, starting conversations gently, and using repair attempts to de-escalate conflicts.
Addressing past emotional injuries or triggers, known as attachment injuries, requires partners to speak calmly and acknowledge each other's viewpoints. The focus is on understanding each other's perspectives, taking responsibility, and planning for healing. Tips involve offering genuine apologies, verbalizing accountability, and asking your partner's needs for healing.
Conflict Blueprint No. 3: Transitioning from Gridlock to Dialogue
Moving from gridlock to dialogue in perpetual conflicts involves accepting differences and understanding each other's core needs. Successful couples communicate openly, appreciate each other's viewpoints, and find compromises. Effective strategies include taking turns to speak and listen, exploring deeper meanings behind perspectives, and creating small compromises towards mutual growth and understanding.
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Episode 2124:
Dr. Marni Feuerman, in collaboration with Gottman.com, offers a deep dive into the complexities of handling conflict in relationships, emphasizing that a significant portion of disputes are perpetual and unsolvable. Through "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by Dr. John Gottman, Feuerman underscores the importance of managing rather than eliminating conflict, providing readers with practical blueprints for navigating the inevitable challenges that arise in partnerships, fostering understanding, growth, and a stronger bond.