Preventing Marital Breakdown: Creating Proactive Support Systems in Your Church with Nicky & Sila Lee
Jan 15, 2025
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Nicky Lee, co-creator of The Marriage Course with over 1.5 million participants, and Sila Lee, his partner in this venture, discuss the pressing need for systemic support for marriages in churches. They emphasize proactive strategies over reactive ones in nurturing relationships, highlighting the impact of structured conversations. Their courses reach diverse couples, fostering open communication and emotional connection. The Lees share insights on breaking stigmas around marriage enrichment, encouraging churches to champion these vital programs to strengthen community bonds.
Churches need to proactively implement structured support systems for marriages, addressing communal challenges rather than waiting for crises to emerge.
The unique design and inclusive approach of Nicky and Sila Lee's marriage courses foster safe and engaging environments for couples to discuss sensitive topics.
Deep dives
Current Challenges in Marriages
Struggles within marriages continue to be a pressing issue, with nearly half of American marriages reportedly facing significant challenges. Church leaders are urged to prioritize support for these couples, recognizing that marital difficulties are not just personal but communal problems that affect the entire congregation. Experts emphasize that proactive measures are essential in addressing these issues before they escalate, highlighting the need for consistent, structured support systems within church communities. It's crucial for churches to create an environment where couples feel safe to seek help and be equipped with practical tools to strengthen their relationships.
The Development of Marriage Support Courses
Nikki and Scylla Lee have created impactful marriage courses, including the 'Pre-Marriage Course' and 'Marriage Course,' which have benefitted over 1.5 million couples globally. Initially starting at Holy Trinity Brompton in London, the courses were designed to provide essential tools based on biblical principles to couples at various stages of their relationships. The success of these programs can be attributed to the inclusive nature that welcomes couples regardless of their faith background, deftly blending practical advice with Christian ethics. By emphasizing ongoing support, these courses have grown significantly over the years, illustrating the universal need for guidance in marital relationships.
Creating a Welcoming Learning Environment
The design of the marriage courses emphasizes creating an inviting atmosphere akin to a date night, making participation less intimidating for couples. By focusing on hospitality—such as intimate seating arrangements, low lighting, and personal service—attendees feel valued and are subsequently more open to engaging in crucial conversations about their relationships. This careful attention to the environment communicates a message of care, encouraging couples to invest time in nurturing their marital bonds. Feedback from participants frequently highlights the enjoyable experience, which plays a significant role in fostering open discussions about sensitive topics.
Ensuring Privacy and Engagement Through Structure
An essential aspect of the marriage courses is their approach to maintaining privacy and structure, allowing couples to engage deeply without the pressure of group discussions. This format helps create an atmosphere where couples feel safe to share and engage without fear of judgment, thereby enabling them to address sensitive issues effectively. By limiting the time allocated for discussions, couples are motivated to engage in meaningful conversations that might otherwise be avoided. The success of this unique model demonstrates its adaptability to various contexts, allowing it to resonate with diverse audiences across different cultures.
Welcome to the unSeminary podcast. This January we’re focusing on key “Unpredictions”—timeless truths that church leaders need to be focusing on in 2025 and beyond. In this episode, we’re joined by Nicky and Sila Lee of The Marriage Course // Alpha International, and are talking about how marriages will still be struggling. Nearly half of […]
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