Episode 259: Healing from Narcissistic Relationships with Kerry McAvoy
Mar 21, 2024
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Psychologist and writer Kerry McAvoy discusses healing from narcissistic relationships. Topics include the challenges of being in a relationship with a narcissist, the importance of self-nurturing post-breakup, and recognizing covert aggression. Kerry emphasizes the slow dismantling of self in abusive relationships and the necessity of focusing on self-care for healing.
Recognize that in narcissistic relationships, the power dynamic is skewed and authentic communication is lacking.
Understanding that you cannot change a narcissistic partner and the focus should be on self-nurturing after the relationship ends.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is distinct from mental health conditions, leading to the slow dismantling of the self in abusive relationships.
Deep dives
Recognizing Toxic Relationships and Dynamics
In toxic relationships, the dynamic is different from normal healthy relationships, where one person's emotional needs dominate the relationship, submerging the other person's needs. Emotionally immature individuals lean on their partners to stabilize their insecurities and offload their negative emotions. This dynamic leads to a power struggle where authentic communication and empathy are lacking.
Understanding Narcissistic Relationships
In narcissistic relationships, individuals with narcissistic traits tap into their partner's strengths to offset their weaknesses, while also projecting their negative traits onto the partner. They idealize their partner initially, but as the partner starts to outshine them or set boundaries, they become resentful and view their positive qualities as weaknesses.
Impact of Gaslighting in Relationships
Gaslighting can lead to confusion and self-doubt in victims, where their partner manipulates them into questioning their reality and feeling unheard. Victims often resort to writing detailed explanations to clarify their feelings, hoping to improve communication, unaware that the issue lies in their partner's unwillingness to truly listen.
The Healing Process after Leaving Toxic Relationships
After leaving a toxic relationship, it is crucial to focus on self-nurturing and rediscovering one's interests and preferences. This transition period allows individuals to reestablish a relationship with themselves and recognize their worth, enabling them to identify healthier relationship dynamics in the future.
Empowering Recovery and Building Self-Awareness
Recovery from toxic relationships involves empowering oneself to recognize and act on red flags in new relationships. As individuals invest more in self-discovery and self-care, they become less vulnerable to manipulative and unhealthy relationship dynamics, prioritizing personal growth and emotional well-being.
Psychologist and writer Kerry McAvoy joins me to discuss the challenges of being in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder. We also delve into its effects on individuals and share insights on self-nurturing after the relationship ends.
Kerry Kerr McAvoy is a psychologist and a writer who educates on social media about cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her book, Love You More, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.
Featured topics:
We explore the phrase “It takes two to tango…” Does it, though, when narcissistic abuse or toxicity is involved in a relationship? (1:49)
Is there anything that you can do to help a narcissistic and abusive partner? The short answer is no. (7:00)
Narcissistic Personality is a disorder. It’s not a mental health condition. Kerry explains the distinction. (11:58)
The slow dismantling of Self when you are in an abusive relationship. (15:29)
Covert Aggression: what it means and how it shows up (19:56)
Focusing on and nurturing yourself back to life is essential in a relationship that has dimmed you. (46:08)
Learn more about Kerry McAvoy:
Kerry Kerr McAvoy is a psychologist and a writer who educates on social media about cultivating healthy relationships, deconstructing narcissism, and understanding various other mental health-related issues. Her book, Love You More, gives an uncensored glimpse into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.
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