The System For Influence & Persuasion with Shari Alexander

Apr 6, 2020

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Guest’s Background:

Sharí is a persuasiveness coach known for bringing the “dark arts” of influence into the light. She has built her career as a speaker, writer, trainer and coach by revealing powerful secrets behind the conversational influence.

She has personally learned the best persuasive triggers and techniques from master influencers, including CIA field agents, hostage negotiators, con-artists, HUMINT officers, interrogators, trial attorneys, mentalists, undercover law enforcement, and even pick-up artists.

Her mission is to put these powerful skills in the hands of entrepreneurs and leaders so that they can effectively be a positive influence in their businesses and lives. Sharí has designed numerous communication training courses and speeches that cover these enlightening areas of enhanced communication, along with self-study programs.

Sharí is certified in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), microexpressions, and body language. Her clients include CEOs, politicians, professional athletes (NFL, NBA), television and movie producers, news commentators (ESPN, HLN, NBC), and New York Times Bestselling authors. Sharí is also a regular contributor to Entrepreneur and guest lecturer at USC.

Website: www.shari-alexander.com

System Overview

Ask yourself “what do I need to know?” instead of “what should I say?”

One common mishap that an aspiring influential person makes when he/she’s about to engage in a very important conversation, is to ask him/herself the question “what should I say?”.
- This question only puts you in the back foot and sets you up for potential failure.
- With this question, you’re only figuring out the things to say based on your knowledge, perspective, values, and background.
Instead, a good influencer should ask himself/herself the question “what do I need to know?”.
- It will give you a glimpse of the receiver’s knowledge, perspective, values, background, and context.
  - What is important to them?
  - What motivates them?
  - What puts them in a positive/negative mood?
Start focusing on the people you’ll talk to and know more about them.
- Before you communicate, get to know who’s going to be your audience.

The core three-step process of influence:

Step 1: Observe.

Step 2: Connect.

Step 3: Influence.

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