International guru of dating and relationship coaching, Matthew Hussey, discusses the key to lasting relationships including active listening, empathetic understanding, and clear expression of feelings. He explores the impact of technology on dating, navigating expectations in relationships, and building a foundation for a thriving relationship. Hussey highlights the significance of effective communication, compromising, and recognizing our own shortcomings. He also emphasizes the importance of being an independently attractive, purpose-driven person in building relationships.
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Quick takeaways
Active listening, empathetic understanding, and clear expression of feelings are essential for lasting relationships.
Building a strong relationship requires teamwork and a commitment to meet each other's needs.
Compatibility in areas like sex drive, financial values, belief systems, and time spent together is crucial for a lasting partnership.
Deep dives
Building a Strong Relationship
Building a strong relationship requires showing up for your partner in ways that they need, not just ways that are comfortable for you. It is important to work on yourself and your own growth, while also being a supportive teammate in the relationship. Teamwork is crucial, where both partners are committed to building together and meeting each other's needs.
Differentiating Connection and Commitment
There are different stages in a relationship, starting with admiration and connection, where mutual like and attraction exist. However, commitment is the stage that signifies a deeper commitment to build a relationship together. Without true commitment, the relationship remains in a state of unrequited love, lacking long-term compatibility.
Importance of Compatibility
Compatibility is a crucial factor for a long-lasting relationship. While commitment is vital, it alone cannot sustain a relationship if there are fundamental incompatibilities. It is necessary for two people to be compatible in areas such as sex drive, financial values, belief systems, and time spent together to ensure a fulfilling and lasting partnership.
Moving Beyond Casual Relationships
Many people find themselves stuck in casual relationships hoping it will progress to a committed relationship. However, a true commitment includes compatibility and a mutual dedication to building a strong foundation together. Acknowledging the importance of compatibility helps avoid the pain and frustration of unrequited commitment.
Building a Compatible Relationship
Compatibility is crucial in a relationship, and understanding the spectrum of compatibility is important. It requires assessing deal breakers and determining if they can be overcome. Sacrifice and appreciation for compromises are essential. Growing up means acknowledging when we are wrong and being humbled, which leads to personal growth.
Finding Your Match and Progress in Dating
To find a compatible partner, focus on indirect means like building a fulfilling life. Engaging in activities and hobbies that interest you can lead to meeting potential partners. The books you read, the classes you attend, and the friendships you develop all contribute to your personal growth and desirability. Approach dating as an opportunity for real interactions and experiences that enrich your life, rather than solely searching for a relationship.
On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about the key to lasting relationships with an international guru of the dating and relationship-coaching scene: Matthew Hussey. Hussey emphasizes the importance of active listening, empathetic understanding, and clear expression of feelings. He highlights that genuine communication forms the foundation of strong partnerships and helps resolve conflicts constructively.
Matthew Hussey is a speaker, New York Times Bestselling author, columnist for Cosmopolitan Magazine, and dating expert on ABC’s digital series What To Text Him Back. His corporate clients include Hugo Boss, The Perfume Shop, Virgin Gyms, Procter & Gamble, Bare Escentuals, U.S. legal giant Weil Gotshal & Manges, and global management consultants Accenture. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online.
In this episode you will learn,
About “activation energy” and how dating apps destroy it
Why space is so important when navigating a dispute
About the “castle” metaphor and why you need to build together
Why the “trash cans” define your relationship more than the highlights
The four stages of all relationships
The first step you can do to get out of the weeds of singlehood