Life Kit How to cope if you can't find a job
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Dec 15, 2025 
Des Valdez, a licensed clinical social worker and financial therapist, dives into the emotional toll of long-term unemployment. He discusses how job loss impacts identity and mental health, exploring trauma responses like freeze, fight, flight, and fawn. Valdez emphasizes the importance of maintaining routines, managing rejection, and finding small meaningful projects to rebuild confidence. He offers strategies for navigating relationship dynamics during job loss and highlights when to seek outside mental support, reminding listeners that unemployment is often temporary.
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Unemployment As Trauma
- Long-term unemployment operates like a traumatic event that impacts identity, nervous system, and relationships.
- Recognize freeze, fight, flight, and fawn as normal trauma responses rather than character flaws.
Keep A Daily Routine
- Maintain daily routines like wake time, meals, exercise, and social check-ins to preserve stability.
- Create a job-search routine with limited focused hours and carve out pre/post self-care.
Structure Job Search Time
- Commit to small, fixed blocks for job searching or skill-building instead of endless grinding.
- Pair focused work with basic self-care like sleep, food, hydration, and joyful connection.