Why Calm Is Toxic: The Danger of False Peace in Men (3 practical steps)

Many men describe themselves as “chill,” unbothered, or simply “fine.” But as Marc Azoulay explains in this episode, fine is not always peace. It is often an emotional shutdown. Marc reflects on the quiet epidemic of emotional numbness shaping men’s lives today. “What if your fine is not peace? It’s shut down. What if it’s an emotional shutdown? It’s not strength, it’s numbness. And the cost is everything.”

Marc is guiding listeners through one of the most misunderstood emotional states men experience: numbness. Through relatable examples from his clinical experience, he tells the story of men who lose touch with their emotional worlds without even realizing it. One client, for example, comes in reporting low intimacy in his marriage only to realize that the issue is not desire. But a complete emotional flatline “across the board, not just in his relationship, but in workouts, hobbies, friendships and everything.”

This episode tells the story of how numbness develops, how it disguises itself as composure, and why so many men mistake shutdown for resilience. Marc shares how cultural conditioning trains boys to “man up”. It sheds light on how men often push emotions away, allowing the nervous system to slip into detachment and dissociation. He also describes the moment many men can pinpoint as the beginning of their emotional shutdown. Such as the client who realized he “stopped feeling” the day his father was diagnosed with cancer.

In this unfolding narrative, Marc is guiding men back to themselves. He is helping them understand numbness not as a flaw, but as a protective strategy that has simply worn out its usefulness. And more importantly, he is showing listeners how to feel again.

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