Am I A Bad Daughter?

Jun 10, 2025

Sahaj Kaur Kohli, an award-winning therapist and founder of Brown Girl Therapy, joins to explore the nuances of love within immigrant families. They discuss the balance between familial obligations and personal needs, diving into concepts like enmeshment and parentification. Emotions around financial support are also tackled, revealing deep-seated expectations and fears. This heartfelt conversation emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and the empowering journey of redefining relationships while maintaining one’s sense of self.

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INSIGHT

Enmeshment in Immigrant Families

Immigrant families often have enmeshed relationships with loose boundaries to protect against external harm.
This protective adaptation can create dependency and hierarchical family dynamics that feel suffocating.

INSIGHT

Parentification's Emotional Toll

Parentification causes children to take on adult roles emotionally and practically.
It can cause emotional neglect and long-term people-pleasing and perfectionism patterns.

ANECDOTE

Financial Boundaries Break Silence

Michelle MiJung Kim tried setting financial boundaries with her mom to reduce guilt.
The effort broke their unspoken dance where love was shown silently, causing emotional pain for both.

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“How do I love my family without sacrificing me?”

In this deeply personal episode, Michelle MiJung Kim unpacks the complicated layers of love, sacrifice, guilt, and resentment within immigrant families. From financial support to emotional labor, Michelle reflects on the invisible expectations placed on her, often at the expense of her own desires and needs.

Featuring renowned therapist and Brown Girl Therapy founder Sahaj Kaur Kohli, this episode explores how concepts like filial piety, enmeshment, and parentification shape our understanding of love—and the emotional toll of setting boundaries when silence has always been the language of care.

If you’ve ever wondered:

“Am I selfish for wanting to live my own life?”

“How do I love my parents without losing myself?”

“Can I heal without their acknowledgment?”

…you’re not alone. This episode is for you.

Whether you're navigating intergenerational trauma, redefining your relationship with your parents, or learning to center your own needs for the first time—this conversation will meet you where you are.

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/i-feel-that-way-too-courage-collective-episode-1-am-i-a-bad-daughter-registration-1412846785769?aff=oddtdtcreator

ABOUT THE EPISODE GUEST, SAHAJ KAUR KOHLI

Sahaj Kaur Kohli, MA.Ed&HD, LGPC, NCC is an award-winning therapist, writer, and speaker on a mission to make mental health care more diverse, equitable, accessible, and inclusive. As the first in her family to do a lot of things — be born in the West, go to therapy, and marry outside of her religion/race/culture — Sahaj understands the unique struggles of children of immigrants, and she uses her personal experience to create original resources and content for this underserved population. Learn more about Sahaj at www.sahajkaurkohli.com.

Follow Sahaj Kaur Kohli on Instagram: @browngirltherapy

Sahaj’s Book: But What Will People Say?

Sahaj’s Podcast: So We’ve Been Told

ABOUT THE HOST, MICHELLE MIJUNG KIM

Michelle MiJung Kim is one of today’s most compelling voices on courage, complexity, and connection. With a voice that is both precise and expansive, Michelle helps people make sense of their inner worlds and the outer chaos. Through storytelling rooted in emotional honesty, she invites us to confront what’s hard, name what matters, and move through the world with deeper integrity and courage. She is the award-winning author of The Wake Up, a globally recognized speaker, and the producer and host of I Feel That Way Too, a narrative podcast that dares to ask life’s trickiest questions so we can feel less alone—and more alive—together. Whether on stage, on the page, or behind the mic, Michelle’s presence is a mirror and a call to courage—to live our lives more fully, to build resilient relationships, and to believe in the possibility of our personal transformation and collective liberation. Learn more about Michelle at www.michellemijungkim.com and follow her journey on Instagram @michellekimkim.

EPISODE CREDITS

This episode was produced by Geraldine Ah-Sue, Eunice Kwon, and Michelle MiJung Kim. Written by Michelle MiJung Kim and Geraldine Ah-Sue. The sound designer is Katie McMurran. Music by Joyce Kwon, Katie McMurran, and Jiyeon Park. This podcast is brought to you by Asian American Futures.