#221- Breaking out of the past to create your ideal future / Jeb Johnston

@jebstuartjohnston

@transformxruby

Your motivation is externalized

People think you always need to enjoy the process but you wont always – remember that you feel better after

We need to bring it into a central local of control

Skills based

Connected and community

Connected to their goals

Lack of confidence can stop this

Fear of committing to a certain path or coach to get you OUT of your patterns because you know the outcome and the shit you deal with now

People make it all about their life

They don’t know what they want and what it takes –

People always think they need a goal to have a process or coach or direction or purpose.

How do you help people work past the low self worth

- mums making time for themselves without guilt

- willpower, discipline, get back on track, failure

- the power of a coach/mentor in the process because you cant fix a faulty pattern with the same level of consciousness and it takes someone to question those parts and form new pathways 

- copiing mechanisms we develop through our lives that we become blind to\\n- the need for validation, proving ones self and trying to "control too much" that you don't have control so you keep recycling the patterns

- fear of committing to a certain path or coach to get you out of the patterns

-how to help avoid relapse but also know its part of the process and its how you handle it and PERCEIVE it that matters

why it matters to get really clear on the direction you are heading so you stop living in your past stories and failures and how to reframe those

(the downward arrow technique and any others you have) 

So many of us struggle with change because we are stuck in the past. We can’t move past our childhood attachment to “comfort” foods. We can’t get past the body we had at 20. We keep holding on to the weights we lifted before life overtook the gym.

 

We are not the same ppl we were 5,10,20 years ago. Responsibilities build, movement drops and convenience wins. So we have a choice: either keep hanging on to those old narratives of who you were and why you can’t change or… get over it.

At some point we must accept reality if we want to change it. And the only way to do that is to stop living in the past. Whether it’s an idealized image of who you were or the reason you are who you are today… you are right. The next step is to take your life back and write your own story.

 

Self sabotage

What do you get out of it?

Everything we do has a reason. If you’ve read my series on motivation you’d say everything we do has a motivation (shameless plug). And it’s one truth that I will defend absolutely. We might not understand that motivation or even realize it’s existence but it is there.

 

When we engage in some type of emotional eating we might feel regret after the fact but before and during we are gaining something from this behavior. It might be coping (emotional avoidance) or chasing the feeling that foods bring you (dopaminergic response). The same can be said for our behaviors around relationships or alcohol. We engage in behaviors for the reward we receive.