It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Part 2: Borderline Personality Disorder for Family Members

14 snips
Apr 28, 2022
Amanda Smith, a licensed clinical social worker and BPD expert, shares invaluable insights for families affected by Borderline Personality Disorder. She addresses common fears and reactions, urging families not to self-blame. Amanda provides practical advice on setting limits and the importance of temporary separations to reset unhealthy dynamics. She emphasizes the value of nonjudgmental communication when discussing a possible diagnosis and champions family involvement in learning coping skills. With a focus on hope and recovery, she highlights the significance of therapy and self-care.
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INSIGHT

Common Family Reactions To BPD Behaviors

  • Family members often react with fear, worry, self-blame, or defensiveness when a loved one shows BPD patterns.
  • Amanda Smith urges awareness of these patterns to avoid taking on undue responsibility and to improve relationships.
ADVICE

Use Temporary Separations As A Reset

  • Prioritize safety and consider temporary separations when relationships feel unsafe or unsustainable.
  • Use a planned break (e.g., 30–90 days) as a reset while maintaining limited contact and support structures.
ANECDOTE

90-Day Separation Worked As A Reset

  • Amanda described a couple who used a 90-day separation as a family reset while still meeting daily for brief dinners.
  • The husband received DBT and parenting training during the separation and the family improved.
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