Dad Feels Undermined and Defeated by Partner's Lack of Limits
Aug 13, 2018
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A stay-at-home dad feels undermined by his partner's lack of limits with their stubborn 3.5-year-old daughter. Janet offers advice on navigating parental struggles, setting boundaries, and building trust with children. The importance of consistent boundaries, teamwork between parents, and connecting through children's intense emotions is emphasized.
15:27
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Quick takeaways
Setting boundaries is crucial for children's development, providing structure and security.
Stay-at-home parents face emotional challenges when enforcing boundaries, highlighting the need for support and unity with the other parent.
Deep dives
Importance of Setting Limits for Children
Setting boundaries and saying no to children is essential for their development as it provides structure, consistency, and a sense of security. Even though children may not express gratitude for these limits in the moment, they subconsciously appreciate the structure and closeness it brings. Children need confident leaders willing to enforce boundaries to help them feel secure and free to express their emotions.
Challenges Faced by Stay-at-Home Parents
Stay-at-home parents often shoulder the responsibility of enforcing rules and setting boundaries as they spend more time with the children. The emotional and physical demands of constant caregiving can be draining, especially when faced with resistance from the other parent or lack of support. Despite feeling overwhelmed, stay-at-home parents are unsung heroes who provide the necessary structure and consistency that children need.
Balancing Parenting Roles and Supporting Each Other
Harmonizing parenting methods between partners is crucial to ensure consistency and united front for the children. Acknowledging each other's role and providing support, especially in challenging moments, strengthens the parental bond and fosters trust with the children. Encouraging the working parent to engage in setting limits and following through with routines can create a balanced parenting dynamic that benefits the whole family.
Janet responds to an email from a stay-at-home parent who feels his efforts to establish and maintain boundaries during the day are undercut when his spouse returns home from work. He believes the daily struggles he has with their daughter “are partly or greatly exacerbated by my wife’s interactions with her…. I’m drained as a parent and feeling resentful towards my spouse for letting a stubborn 3.5-year-old have her way.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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