Adult-Diagnosed ADHD: Grieving What Might Have Been

Oct 2, 2025

In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Dall, a grief-informed neurodivergence specialist and founder of ADHD Holistically, shares her journey of being diagnosed with ADHD in her 50s. She discusses the often-overlooked symptoms of ADHD in girls and the consequences of a behavioral lens in schools. Jennifer explores the profound grief and trauma that can accompany a late diagnosis, as well as practical strategies for navigating life with ADHD. Her insights on self-acceptance and creating sustainable routines are empowering for anyone facing similar challenges.

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INSIGHT

Quiet ADHD Often Goes Unnoticed

Teachers and professionals often only recognize the loudest, most disruptive ADHD presentations.
Quiet or academically successful students, especially girls, are frequently missed due to narrow expectations.

INSIGHT

Behavioral Lens Harms Support

Schools commonly treat ADHD through a behavioral discipline lens rather than addressing executive function needs.
This approach can punish students and reduce access to helpful supports and electives.

ADVICE

Make Supports Student-Specific

Collaborate with teachers, administrators, parents, and the student to identify individualized supports.
Avoid generic accommodation lists and tailor strategies to what actually helps that student.

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Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes Dr. Jennifer Dall, a grief-informed neurodivergence specialist and the founder of ADHD Holistically. Jennifer was diagnosed with ADHD in her 50s, and is now an educator, administrator, coach, and grief specialist. They talk about grieving over what might have been, a struggle that often accompanies late-diagnosis. They discuss Jennifer's lived experience with late diagnosis, as well as some common misconceptions about ADHD, especially those faced by women. They also talk about the challenges of identifying ADHD in school settings, particularly for girls and students who may not present with typical disruptive behaviors, and how dependence on a behavioral lens can lead to greater consequences, rather than providing necessary support.

TAKEAWAYS

There's a lack of training about the diverse presentations of ADHD among educators and professionals.
It's a persistent myth that people "grow out of" ADHD.
There can be profound grief and trauma after a late diagnosis, stemming from lost time, opportunities, and years of internalizing negative narratives.
ADHD often compounds the symptoms of grief.

Dr. Jennifer Dall is a Grief-Informed Neurodivergence Specialist and the founder of ADHD Holistically, where she helps individuals—particularly women—navigate ADHD with practical, personalized strategies that prioritize self-awareness and sustainable growth. With over 25 years of experience as an educator and a background in ADHD coaching, yoga instruction, and grief education, her holistic approach is rooted in both professional expertise and lived experience.

Diagnosed with ADHD in her 50s, Dr. Jennifer brings deep insight into the challenges of late diagnosis, masking, and misinformation—especially for women. Through her courses, workshops, and speaking engagements, she supports neurodivergent individuals and the professionals who serve them, including therapists, coaches, and HR leaders. Her work centers on reframing ADHD as a source of strength, helping others unlock their potential with strategies that work in real life.

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