Episode 333: If there's a playbook for them, there's a playbook for YOU
whatshot 42 snips
Jul 24, 2025
Explore the manipulative tactics used by narcissists, from love bombing to gaslighting. Learn how to ground yourself in reality and protect your boundaries against hoovering and intimidation. Discover strategies to counteract projection and smear campaigns, ensuring you stay rooted in your truth. Understand the emotional complexities of past relationships while building a supportive network. Most importantly, reclaim your power and develop your own playbook for navigating the challenges of emotional abuse.
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Abuser's Playbook is Predictable
Narcissistic abusers follow a predictable playbook with common tactics.
Understanding their patterns allows you to develop your own playbook to reclaim power.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Counter Love Bombing with Caution
Watch for sustained behavior changes instead of falling for empty apologies or grand gestures.
Talk with trusted people to evaluate if change is real or part of manipulation.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Document to Counter Gaslighting
Keep a detailed journal of interactions, saving texts and emails to document truth.
Use this record for yourself to counter gaslighting, not to confront the abuser.
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If you’ve been in a narcissistic, emotionally abusive, or coercively controlling relationship, you may think you’re alone in your confusion and trauma. After working with thousands of women, however, I can assure you that abusers are all operating out of the same playbook. The gaslighting, the love bombing, the silent treatment? The patterns are actually completely predictable. It’s called the Abuser’s Playbook. And if there’s a playbook for them, there’s a playbook for you, too.
In this solo episode, I walk you through ten of the most common tactics abusers use and more importantly, how to counter each one. This isn’t about changing them. This is about keeping yourself safe, reclaiming your sanity, and taking your power back.
The 10 common tactics narcissistic abusers use (and what you’ll hear about in this episode):
Love bombing and future faking that keeps you hooked and how to track the cycle
Gaslighting that erodes your sense of reality and how to ground yourself in the truth
Projection that flips the blame onto you and how to recognize what’s actually theirs
Triangulation that isolates you and how to stay rooted in your own perspective
Hoovering that pulls you back in and how to hold your boundary when it feels impossible
Smear campaigns that twist your story and how to stay steady when your reputation is under attack
Threats and intimidation that instill fear and how to protect yourself and plan ahead
Stonewalling and silent treatment that punish you and how to stop chasing their approval
Baiting and rage that push you to the edge and how to respond without losing yourself
Financial abuse that traps you and how to begin reclaiming control
DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
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