174: Dirty Talk, Bondage, Masturbation and More - Q&A with Dan Purcell
Feb 16, 2024
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Dan Purcell, an expert in human sexuality and relationships, answers anonymous questions on dirty talk, flirting, dealing with medication side effects, self-soothing, using bondage in marriage, grief's impact on sexuality, and the role of masturbation in maintaining intimacy.
Embrace being a novice in trying new sexual behaviors, focus on arousal through words and body language to enhance intimacy.
Understand the impact of anti-anxiety medications on sexual response, maintain emotional connection through passion and desire discussions.
Support a grieving partner by being a rock, approach differences in sexual desires with love, acceptance, and open communication.
Deep dives
Embracing Being a Novice in Sexual Behaviors
When trying new sexual behaviors, it is normal to be hesitant and expect immediate success. However, it is important to give oneself grace and embrace being a novice. Improvement comes with practice and time. Lowering expectations, focusing on arousal through words and body language, and incorporating playful flirting can enhance intimacy.
Navigating Differences in Sexual Response Due to Medication
Anti-anxiety medications can affect sexual response and lead to numbness. It is essential to understand the impact of medication and communicate openly with the partner. Exploring alternative medications or discussing passion and desire rather than solely focusing on orgasm can help maintain emotional connection and intimacy.
Managing Emotional Strain and Sexual Differences in Grief
When grieving, it can be challenging to remain close and maintain sexual intimacy. Supporting a grieving partner requires being a rock and creating a safe space for vulnerability. Differences in sexual desires, like playful bondage, should be approached with love, acceptance, and open communication. Focusing on trustworthiness, working through grief together, and considering compromises can help strengthen the relationship.
Relieving Sexual Tension and Honesty About Masturbation
Sexual tension and desires may arise when one partner is grieving or unable to engage in sexual intimacy. Honest communication about desires and tensions is crucial. Masturbation can be a personal decision, but it should be approached with honesty and respect towards one's values and the marriage. Exploring options such as partnered masturbation without pornography or fantasy can maintain intimacy and relieve tension.
Building Intimacy and Trust in Marriage
The key to navigating differences in sexual preferences and desires is to build intimacy and trust within the marriage. Instead of trying to fix or change one's partner, focus on growing together, communicating openly, and demonstrating love and support. The foundation of honesty and trust will strengthen the relationship during challenges and differences.