The Other Side of Mindset Limitations

In a previous episode, I spoke about “mindset limitations” as some of the beliefs, conscious or unconscious, that constrain the way we see, think, and feel the world around us. I explore some of my own mindset blind spots around the pursuing happiness fallacy.  Here, I want to focus on the other side of mindset limitations. The term “mindset” in itself has become very popular. If we google the word, we get more than 150 million results. In Amazon’s books, more than 50 thousand results for "mindset" come up - 20 thousand in book titles. On ListenNotes.com, a great podcast search engine reveals 2,432 with “mindset” in the show title. And I’m thrilled to inform you that at the time of this recording, our very own Mindset Zone, is number two on that list. Self-help books, like “The Secret” have popularized the idea that our thoughts are the primary cause of everything. This principle is also core for many high-performance systems. One of my favorites, The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks Than Others Do In 12 Months, Brian P. Moran explicitly argues “It’s important to understand that the results you achieve are a direct byproduct of the action you take. Your actions, in turn, are manifestations of your underlying thinking. Ultimately, it is your thinking that drives your results; it is your thinking that creates your experiences in life.” In sum, the more prevailing perspectives see our mindsets–the way we think, and the beliefs we have–determining what we do and the results we get.  Even the well-researched CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy–a form of talk therapy that has been demonstrated to be effective for a range of problems including depression, anxiety disorders, alcohol and drug use problems, marital problems, eating disorders, and severe mental illness–focuses on changing thinking patterns. A basic CBT technique, originally developed by Albert Ellis, is known as the ABC model, and it assumes our beliefs about a specific event affect how we react to that event, being its goal to help us restructure these beliefs to adapt a healthier response. For instance, you sent an important email out with a proposal that if accepted can help you achieve your goals for your next quarter, but one week has passed and you didn’t get any reply. This can be seen as the Activation event, the A in this ABC model. This situation can lead to negative feelings, emotions, like anxiety, fear, lack of confidence that can lead to procrastination, or inaction. These emotional responses and behaviors are the Consequences, the C in the ABC model. So, the B is at the center of the model and represents the Beliefs that are triggered by A, and are the real cause of C. So, the goal is to change the B, the Beliefs, to change underlying thoughts. So, for example, when you haven’t yet heard back about that proposal, instead of thinking, “How awful! I'm never going to be good at this!” which will most certainly lead to less than optimal feelings, and probably a lack of action. You can disrupt the self-fulfilling prophecy by changing your thoughts. Thoughts. Feelings. Behaviors. It’s easier to use a linear model to describe what is happening when we are trying to change. Yet, we can argue that this linear perspective is too simplistic, and that doesn’t allow us to see the whole multidimensional picture. CBT acknowledges that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all interconnected, but most of the time it focuses on changing thinking patterns first as if that was a unidirectional relationship. But if this was the case, gaining a new insight, or becoming aware of a thought pattern would be enough to change our feelings and behaviors, and we painfully live the reality that it’s not that easy. Wouldn’t it be great if an inspiring TED talk was enough to change us?  Yes, it can ignite a spark that leads to change, but usually, there are more moving parts involved in the process of lasting change.