What are the Five Marks of a Man? feat. Brian Tome (Type 8w7)
Dec 7, 2023
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Brian Tome, author of The Five Marks of a Man, discusses the definition of manhood and the importance of vulnerability in a passionate conversation. The podcast explores themes of Enneagram Type 8, intensive counseling programs, the value of having an older mentor, the difference between true vulnerability and faux-nerability, and the meaning of manhood.
Having a vision in life and working towards it distinguishes men from boys.
Taking responsibility and having a strong work ethic are key aspects of manhood.
Emotional resilience and genuine vulnerability are important for men to navigate challenges.
Building deep and impactful relationships with other men is crucial for personal growth.
Deep dives
The Marks of Manhood: Vision and Purpose
The book explores the importance of having a vision in life and distinguishing between the mindset of boys, who live day to day, and men, who work towards their vision.
The Marks of Manhood: Responsibility and Work Ethic
The book emphasizes the significance of taking responsibility and having a strong work ethic. It discusses the difference between boys, who prioritize play, and men, who understand the importance of working and adding value in various aspects of life.
The Marks of Manhood: Emotional Resilience
The book delves into the concept of emotional resilience in men. It explores how men can overcome barriers and navigate challenging situations, acknowledging that vulnerability and disclosure can be valuable, though it is important to discern between genuine vulnerability and calculated attempts at seeking validation.
The Marks of Manhood: Brotherhood and Community
The book highlights the significance of building deep and impactful relationships with other men. It emphasizes the importance of having trusted friendships, engaging in shared activities, and seeking mentorship from older and wiser individuals.
The Marks of Manhood: Character and Integrity
The book emphasizes the importance of character and integrity in men. It discusses how men can uphold moral values, make ethical decisions, and remain true to themselves and their principles, even in face of challenges or temptations.
The Importance of Older Individuals in Leadership
Having older individuals in leadership positions is crucial to prevent making avoidable mistakes. Younger generations often lack the life experience and wisdom needed to make informed decisions. Older individuals not only bring their knowledge and experience, but also act as mentors, guiding and advising younger individuals. They offer a unique perspective and can provide valuable insights that others may not have considered. By including older individuals in leadership roles, organizations can avoid unnecessary errors and make more successful decisions.
The Value of Trust and Vulnerability in Relationships
Building trusting relationships where individuals can be vulnerable and share deeply is essential. Trust allows for open and honest communication, creating a sacred bond between people. By trusting one another, individuals can share their true selves without fear of judgment or betrayal. This kind of trust fosters strong connections and allows for authentic relationships to develop. Additionally, vulnerability attracts others and invites them to trust and connect as well. Being vulnerable not only deepens relationships, but also creates a safe space for others to share their thoughts and feelings freely.
“I didn’t have that definitive moment where I crossed from boyhood to manhood because no one ever declared me a man. No one ever told me that,” explains Brian. “It’s not an age thing. It’s not what kind of truck or Prius you drive. It’s an attitude and a certain approach to life.”
We explore his willingness to embrace vulnerability and live purposefully as part of this approach. It’s a passionate conversation that sparks the question, “How would you characterize your understanding of manhood?”
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About Brian Tome
Brian Tome has been leading men for over two decades. Whether it’s on an adventure motorcycle over the Rockies or in a boardroom, he knows the power of challenge, brotherhood, and no-nonsense leadership. Brian is a builder who founded and leads Crossroads Church, one of the largest churches in America with locations in multiple states and a national digital footprint. He’s also written five books; hosts The Aggressive Life podcast; and started Man Camp, a primitive weekend camping experience that’s driven 20,000 men to reclaim the code of manhood. Brian spends his free time hunting, camping, or rehabbing a 1978 Jeep CJ-7. He lives with his wife, Libby, in Cincinnati.
