The First Stone: Cheating, shame and a series of unfortunate men
Jan 23, 2024
auto_awesome
Jenni, a former Mormon who experienced shame and guilt, discusses her choice to cheat and the societal judgment surrounding it. The podcast delves into the fascination with cheaters, unhealthy relationship dynamics, dating challenges after divorce, and the consequences and aftermath of infidelity. It explores the importance of honesty, finding independence, and deserving love and fulfillment.
Internalized shame can deeply impact one's sense of self-worth and relationships, highlighting the need for healing and self-acceptance.
Jenny's journey emphasizes the importance of open dialogue, vulnerability, and empathy in relationships, despite the challenges faced.
Deep dives
The Weight of Shame and the Power of Forgiveness
Jenny's story revolves around the theme of shame and forgiveness. Jenny, who grew up in the Mormon church, shares how she internalized shame from a young age, being constantly judged and controlled by societal and religious expectations. Her relationships, including her failed marriage and the affair she had with a married man, were deeply affected by this shame. Despite experiencing guilt and making mistakes, Jenny still seeks forgiveness and acceptance for herself and her past actions. Her journey highlights the importance of acknowledging one's mistakes, owning up to them, and ultimately finding self-love and forgiveness.
The Impact of Internalized Shame
Jenny's experiences demonstrate the profound impact of internalized shame on one's sense of self-worth and how it can shape and jeopardize relationships. The weight of shame influences Jenny's perception of herself, leading to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and an inability to believe that she deserves a healthy and fulfilling relationship. The shame she carries taints her interactions with others, especially her romantic partners, causing strain and conflict. This underscores the importance of addressing and healing from past shame to build healthier relationships based on mutual respect and self-acceptance.
The Journey Towards Self-Love and Acceptance
Jenny's story is a journey of self-discovery, as she grapples with her own worth and learns to love and accept herself despite her past mistakes. Her process involves seeking support from friends, confiding in loved ones, and engaging in therapy. Through these channels, she receives validation, compassion, and guidance. Jenny's progress is marked by learning to set healthy boundaries, communicate openly, and prioritize her own needs. While she acknowledges the ongoing challenges and doubts she faces, Jenny demonstrates resilience and an unwavering desire to cultivate self-love and acceptance.
Navigating the Complexities of Relationships
Jenny's relationships, both romantic and platonic, showcase the complexities that can arise due to past experiences, shame, and insecurities. Her interactions with her ex-husband, the married man, and her current partner, James, highlight the difficulties of trust, communication, and intimacy. Their struggles underscore the importance of open dialogue, vulnerability, and mutual understanding. Despite the challenges faced, Jenny's story also demonstrates the capacity for growth, forgiveness, and resilience within relationships, emphasizing the need for empathy, compassion, and ongoing effort to foster healthy and fulfilling connections.
Jenni was raised Mormon, and for the first part of her life, was a dutiful follower. She got married young, attended church, and was a loyal wife. But life got messy and complicated for Jenni, and she eventually made a choice that surprised her. A choice considered a sin in her culture, and a pretty hurtful thing to do by the rest of society: she cheated. For the last year, Jenni’s been grappling with the shame and guilt of this choice and how parts of her dating history led to this choice.
Patrons get bonus episodes, invites to monthly office hours with Nora, and access to the full back catalog of episodes. Patrons are the only people who get other perks like discounted live event tickets or opportunities to sit in on an editing session for future episodes.
—
Our Substack is a great way to connect with us and other listeners (and get more Terrible in your inbox). Join us here.