Untangle How to Have Difficult Conversations. The Art and Science. With Kern Beare
Nov 5, 2024
Kern Beare, author of "Difficult Conversations: The Art and Science of Working Together," shares expert insights on navigating tough discussions. He emphasizes the art of deep listening and suggests dropping our egos to foster understanding. The conversation highlights the neuroscience behind emotional responses, underscoring the importance of empathy in repairing relationships. Kern also advises embracing vulnerability and surrendering resistance to enhance creativity and connection, even amidst extreme views. These strategies promise to revolutionize how we engage in meaningful dialogues.
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Inspiration for Work
- Kern Beare's inspiration for his work stemmed from the 2016 US presidential election.
- He embarked on a cross-country road trip to understand the perceived disconnect, concluding it was a lack of meaningful conversations.
Brain Science of Difficult Conversations
- Threats to beliefs trigger the same fight-or-flight response as physical threats, activating the amygdala.
- The medial prefrontal cortex moderates this, but disconnects during heated moments ("flipping your lid"), hindering empathy and self-awareness.
Managing Heated Conversations
- During heated moments, use PBS: Pause, Breathe deeply, and Smile sincerely to break the tension and activate calming systems.
- Repair the relationship by appreciating the other person, finding agreement, understanding their perspective, and apologizing sincerely.