The Bill Ackman-Neri Oxman-Claudine Gay-whoever else storm continues to rage. How does anyone get work done? We sort through the madness, and along the way:

* Sarah gets a curious invitation …

* Nancy is the “Epstein Island” of the Illuminati

* Did Sinead die of a broken heart?

* Bill Ackman’s tweets are longer than the Bible

* How is Claudine Gay’s op-ed like Amber Heard’s?

* What constitutes cheating, and should the rules be clarified?

* The ethics of stealing from Tom Waits

* The new Atlantic writer who’s captured our hearts

* Who is Jo Koy, and why do we hate him?

* The Golden Globes monologue wasn’t that bad

* Margot Robbie and Jennifer Lopez in pink gowns: Who wore it best?

* Jeremy Allen White’s Calvin Klein ad ha-cha-cha

* Succession, Succession, suhk-sesh-SHON!!!

* Wait, who kissed Sarah?