Lives Well Lived SHERMIN KRUSE: the art of stoic empathy
Nov 27, 2025
Shermin Kruse, an Iranian-born lawyer and author of *Stoic Empathy*, shares her impactful journey from navigating cultural exile to advocating for empathy in conflict resolution. She discusses her mother’s negotiation with morality police in Tehran, contrasting cognitive and emotional empathy’s roles in understanding emotions and preventing wrongdoing. Shermin connects Stoicism with personal resilience, suggesting practical exercises like ice plunges and meditation to enhance emotional strength. Her insights on migration and cultural dialogue illuminate the path to living well.
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Calm Empathy Defused A Life-Threatening Arrest
- Shermin Kruse recounts her mother defusing a morality-guard arrest in Tehran by calmly labeling the guard's frustration and explaining their situation.
- The empathic, nonjudgmental approach visibly relaxed the guard and created a path for them to move on.
Understanding Can Be Tactical Power
- Empathy need not equal submission; understanding another's state can increase your power in extreme power-imbalance situations.
- Shermin frames understanding as a tactical tool to create escape routes rather than moral approval.
Modulate Between Cognitive And Emotional Empathy
- Use cognitive empathy to read others while maintaining emotional distance when needed, especially with hostile or dependent people.
- Shift along the empathy spectrum deliberately to avoid empathy collapse or harmful overidentification.
