The Art of Manliness

How Long Does It Take to Make Friends (And How Does That Process Work, Anyway)?

Jan 24, 2022

Jeffrey Hall, a communication studies professor, dives into the intriguing world of friendship dynamics. He reveals how long it actually takes to turn an acquaintance into a close friend and discusses the three levels of friendships based on emotional closeness. Time alone isn't enough; shared expectations and personality traits play crucial roles too. He explores how gender influences friendship expectations and highlights the importance of prioritizing these connections as adults. Learn why true friendships can endure despite time and distance.

45:08

Creator website

Episode guests

Jeffrey Hall

Highlights

AI Chapters

Episode notes

The Time it Takes to Develop Adult Friendships

01:51

Do friendship expectations differ by gender?

01:27

Intro

2min

Navigating the Nuances of Friendship

20min

The Power of Prioritizing Friendships

6min

The Endurance of Close Friendships Across Time and Distance

2min

Expectations in Friendship Dynamics

8min

Understanding Personality and Its Impact on Friendship Dynamics

3min

Navigating Fading Friendships

5min

Key Strategies for Building Lasting Friendships in Adulthood

3min

How long does it take to make friends — for someone you meet who's a potential friend, to turn into an actual friend? If you're out of college and not a young adult anymore, you know that it sure feels like it's a process that takes an awfully long time.

Well my guest has actually crunched the numbers on this question and has the numerical figures to answer it. As well as a whole lot of insight into the dynamics of friendship that are harder to quantify. His name is Jeffrey Hall and he's a professor of communication studies who counts friendship among the topics of his research. Today on the show, Jeff explains the three levels of friends that make up the sort of friendship hierarchy, how many hours it takes for someone to move from one level to the next, and why it's hard to accumulate these needed hours as an adult. We also talk about how sheer time isn't the only factor that's needed to transform an acquaintance into a close or best friend, and the other factors that need to be in play as well. We then shift into discussing another element that influences the friendship-making process: the expectations each friend has for friendship. We discuss how expectations for friendship differ according to sex and personality, and what happens when two people have differing expectations for what it means to be friends.

Resources Related to the Podcast

Related AoM articles on friendship:
Related AoM podcasts on friendship

Connect with Jeffrey Hall

KU's Relationships and Technology Lab

Remember Everything You Learn from Podcasts

Save insights instantly, chat with episodes, and build lasting knowledge - all powered by AI.