Today in Focus Revisited: Having a baby with your best mate
Dec 25, 2025
In this insightful discussion, journalist Nicola Slawson, author of 'Single, Living a Complete Life on Your Own Terms', shares her unique journey of platonic co-parenting with her best friend, Tom. They talk about how they decided to have a baby together, navigating the challenges of social infertility, and the humorous moments of home insemination. Nicola reflects on the emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy, their commitment to equal parenting, and the importance of their deep friendship in raising their daughter.
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Friends Decided To Have A Baby Together
- Nicola Slawson and Tom Hayes, long-time friends, decided to have a baby together though they are not a romantic couple.
- Tom is gay and Nicola had been single for years before they agreed to co-parent.
Social Infertility And Systemic Barriers
- Nicola frames part of the problem as 'social infertility' where people lack partners rather than medical issues.
- She highlights stigma around single women wanting children and practical barriers like NHS access and cost of fertility treatment.
They Researched And Planned Extensively
- Nicola met Tom at a local arts centre and gradually 'auditioned' him as a potential dad before asking him at a party.
- They then spent months researching platonic co-parenting and planning how it would work legally and practically.