Tim & Natasha Part 4 of 4: The Blame Game

In this final session, both Tim and Natasha describe a shift in their relationship with their 6 yr old daughter Rosie. Leslie reinforces these changes and continues to work on shifting the conversation away from focusing on the negative. Instead, Leslie looks below the surface of behaviors to identify strengths of the child that may be less obvious.  All children have a need to be understood and seen for who they are.  Children with ADHD have many challenges, including getting hyper-focused and having trouble shifting from one activity to another.  Understanding who your child is and helping them understand who they are reduces the blame and increases effective parenting. 

For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcast/. You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook and Instagram.  Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences in the Is My Child a Monster? Facebook parenting community.

Key Time Stamps:

• 03:57 “Can you give yourself permission to…” Use this when blaming shows up
• 04:35 The cycle of blaming. Be careful of reinforcing the blaming behavior
• 06:13 A Problematic Thinking Pattern is to focus only on the negatives and disqualifying the positive
• 09:38 Go below the surface to get at what's underlying a behavior
• 11:18 Help your child express themselves accurately
• 13:13 Hyperfocus is a common behavior of the ADHD child
• 18:00 Using Kinesthetic awareness, touch and compression as tools for the ADHD child
• 21:35 Strategy for shifting - move your body, move your mind (and your attention)
• 22:30 The value of movement and touch for ADHD
• 24:40 Executive functioning strategy of breaking down big projects into small achievable steps

This week's Leslie-ism: Can you give yourself permission to …  Make a mistake, to forget your toys, feel uncomfortable

Show Note Links:

• A blog exploring Understanding Why Children Blame
• Understanding and examples of Problematic thinking patterns 
• A blog exploring The Need to be Heard and Understood  
• Click here for more info about Contact Improvisation

Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Dale Rubury, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Public relations is handled by Tink Media. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O’Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.