OPENHOUSE with Louise Rumball and leading therapists

95 - ATTACHMENT - Should The Anxiously Attached Stop Demonizing The Avoidant Attachment Style?

Jun 9, 2023

35:21

Snipd AI

Explore the reasons behind demonizing the avoidantly attached. Learn about their underlying fears and the impact they can have in our lives. Should you date someone with an avoidant attachment style or steer clear? Discover the importance of empathy and compassion in healing attachment injuries. Get guidance on ending relationships with emotionally unavailable individuals. Reflect on attachment styles and join the Open House Premium for bonus episodes and community engagement.

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Quick takeaways

Avoidant attachment styles are a protective response to consistent failures in receiving love, support, and connection during childhood, and it's important to foster empathy and understanding towards them.

Rather than demonizing avoidantly attached individuals, it's crucial to approach relationships with understanding and self-awareness, recognizing the signs of emotional unavailability and prioritizing our own emotional well-being.

Deep dives

Understanding Avoidant Attachment

Avoidant attachment styles, often demonized in dating and relationships, are a protective response to consistent failures in receiving love, support, and connection during childhood. These individuals distance themselves from intimacy and vulnerability in order to protect themselves from potential rejection, shame, and hurt. They may come across as interested or strong in the early stages of dating, but as the connection deepens, their defenses kick in harder. This does not mean they do not feel, but rather that their need for love was ignored in the past, leaving them unsure of how to navigate intimacy. It's important to distinguish between an avoidant person consciously working on their attachment style and one who is not, as the latter can hurt and leave others in emotional turmoil.

Introduction

4min

Understanding Attachment Injuries and Healing

5min

Understanding Avoidant Attachment

17min

Navigating Relationships with Emotionally Unavailable Individuals

1min

Reflecting on the Avoidantly Attached and Inviting Listeners to Join Open House Premium

2min

Eating Dumplings and Reflecting on Attachment Styles in the Midst of a Tropical Storm

2min

Should we stop demonizing the avoidantly attached? In this exclusive OPENHOUSE Voice Note from Lu (usually available only for our OPENHOUSE Premium Subscribers), we dive into the world of the avoidantly attached and ask - should they really be demonized?

Louise delves into:

Unmasking the reasons behind the avoidantly attached getting a bad rap – are they truly out to hurt us?
Cultivating compassion by unraveling their underlying fears and understanding the biological and physical responses that shape their attachment style.
Exploring how understanding their behavior helps us comprehend the potential impact they can have on our lives.
Shedding light on why the anxiously attached tend to be more vocal and expressive compared to their avoidant counterparts.

And the ultimate question: Should you consider dating someone with an avoidant attachment style or steer clear?

This episode is sponsored by Lilybod. To redeem your 40% off your Healing Girl outfit, click here and use code ⭐ OPENHOUSE40 ⭐ at checkout:
AU: https://lilybod.com/discount/OPENHOUSE
UK: https://uk.lilybod.com/discount/OPENHOUSE

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⭐ Want more Home Truths and Voice Notes from Lu? Join OPENHOUSE PREMIUM today for weekly bonus episodes, a full back catalogue of episodes, access to our vibrant Community Area 'The House,' and our exclusive 'Ask A Therapist' room with guaranteed therapist responses. Plus, enjoy all episodes ad-free! ⭐

Join OPENHOUSE PREMIUM now at: https://openhouse.supercast.com/

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Connect with Louise on Instagram: @iamlouiserumball
Connect with Louise on TikTok: @thetherapygirl___
Connect with OPENHOUSE: @openhouselife
Sign up to join the OPENHOUSE mailing list to receive first access to all workshops, courses and live events: www.thisisopenhouse.com

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