In this episode of We Need To Talk we’re joined by Dr. Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist, best-selling author, and online educator known for making mental health tools accessible to millions. Dive deep into the realities of self-love, how to build secure relationships, and the hidden cost of always trying to "win" in arguments. Dr. Julie shares practical strategies to manage fear, navigate uncertainty, and transform anxiety into a source of strength.

Dr Julie’s new book Open When: A Companion for Life’s Twists and Turns is available to buy now

Open When on Amazon: https://g2ul0.app.link/nCGOymXTzQb

Follow Dr Julie here:

Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/td8IlXZTzQb

TikTok - https://g2ul0.app.link/kaxaiI7TzQb

Follow me here:

https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk

https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod

(00:00) Intro

(01:43) Dr. Julie's Upbringing

(04:00) Is Shyness Genetic or Learned Behavior?

(06:11) Dr. Julie's Relationship With Her Husband

(10:08) Why Did Dr. Julie Specialize in Clinical Psychology?

(13:02) Dr. Julie's Experience Working for the NHS

(16:55) Dr. Julie's Move Onto Social Media

(23:10) The Success of Dr. Julie's First Book

(24:40) Dr. Julie's Experience Writing Her Second Book Open When

(26:15) Dr. Julie's Cancer Diagnosis

(31:41) Dr. Julie's Thoughts on the Popularity of the Term "Self-Love"

(34:40) What Is Metacognition?

(37:23) Dr. Julie's Definition of Self-Love

(40:17) How Do We Correct Our Self-Destructive Thoughts?

(43:55) Keep Love Ad

(44:52) Tinder Ad

(45:41) What Is Dr. Julie's Definition of Self-Esteem?

(50:08) How Does Confidence Relate to Self-Esteem?

(54:43) How Should We Handle Criticism in Terms of Our Self-Esteem?

(58:52) Do Our Values Stay the Same or Change Over Time?

(1:00:07) Demonstration of Values

(1:06:33) Are We More Anxious Than Ever in Society?

(1:10:31) How Do We Manage the Anxieties of Modern Society?

(1:14:29) Dr. Julie's Thoughts on Today's "Self-Centered" Society

(1:16:57) How Do You Know if You're Ready for a Relationship?

(1:18:36) Why Do We Need Relationships With Others for Our Happiness?

(1:21:31) Dr. Julie's Tips for a Successful Relationship

(1:24:28) Dr. Julie's Definition of Attachment Styles

(1:28:01) How to Determine Your Attachment Style

(1:29:52) How to Make Your Attachment Style More Secure

(1:31:09) Dr. Julie's Ethos on Conflict in Relationships

(1:35:15) Most Memorable Conversation

(1:39:59) Paul's Takeaways

(1:42:05) Adobe Express

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