Women & ADHD Jen Fry: Setting boundaries & saying no
Jan 5, 2026
Jen Fry, an educator and former college volleyball coach, dives into the complexities of setting boundaries, especially for women with ADHD. She candidly shares her experiences with hyperfocus, time blindness, and the challenge of people-pleasing. Jen provocatively differentiates kindness from niceness, encouraging women to advocate for themselves while dismantling the myths around being 'nice' in the workplace. She also emphasizes the necessity of saying no to protect one's time and energy, and highlights the importance of authenticity in establishing self-worth.
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Why Saying No Feels So Heavy
- Many women with ADHD feel saying no is loaded with guilt, overthinking, and fear of disappointing others.
- Jen Fry links this struggle to people-pleasing, hyperfocus, time blindness, and imposter syndrome.
Early ADHD Signal From A Coach
- Jen recounts early signals of ADHD: a coach suggested testing and family dismissed it as being "active."
- She describes hyperfocus by saying it would take "God himself" to pull her out once she went down a rabbit hole.
Build Skill Before You Charge
- Treat public speaking as a practiced skill before charging for it.
- Do lots of free work to build competence and avoid risking reputation with early paid gigs.
