391. Perfect Is Boring (And It Tastes Like Kale) with Jess Johnston

Jan 22, 2025

Join Jess Johnston, a writer focused on friendship and authenticity, as she shares her insights on connecting deeply with others. Jess discusses how her off-grid childhood shaped her views on relationships and why perfectionism blocks meaningful connections. The conversation highlights the profound differences between belonging and merely fitting in, the power of vulnerability, and how embracing imperfections can strengthen bonds. With practical tips and relatable stories, they explore the courage needed to overcome the fear of rejection in adult friendships.

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ADVICE

Small Interactions Boost Belonging

Start tiny conversations with strangers to boost belonging and happiness in daily routines.
Michael Herold references studies where brief chats on trains and with baristas increased meaningfulness.

INSIGHT

Authenticity Beats Performance

Letting down performance and showing your messy, honest self brings deeper belonging than curated perfection.
Jess Johnston says authenticity invites acceptance and relieves others to be real too.

INSIGHT

Belonging vs. Fitting In

Belonging accepts you as you are, while fitting in asks you to change to match the group.
Michael Herold contrasts belonging with fitting in to clarify why authenticity matters.

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What if the very thing keeping you from deep, meaningful friendships is the fear of being your true, imperfect self?

This week Michael sits down with Jess Johnston for a chat about authenticity, friendship, and overcoming the fear of rejection. They dive into themes for her book, Perfect Is Boring (and It Tastes Like Kale): Finding Belonging and Purpose Without Changing Who You Are, which offers a refreshing take on embracing who you are while finding your place in the world.

Together, they explore the ups and downs of adult friendships, including letting down your guard to create real bonds. Jess’s relatable stories and practical tips make it easy to see how consistency, courage, and even a little awkwardness can lead to meaningful relationships.

If you’ve ever felt like perfection gets in the way of connection, this conversation is perfect for you.

Listen and Learn:

Jess’ off-grid childhood that sparked her love for writing and how those experiences shaped her perspective on connection
The tension between performance and authenticity in your friendships and the courage to be rea
What are the profound differences between belonging and fitting in?
What does it really mean to be authentic?
Awkward moments forge deeper connections—why embracing imperfection matters in your relationships and life
The surprising power of intentionality and courage in building your adult friendships
Why the fear of rejection is key to building meaningful friendships

Resources:

About Jess Johnston

Jess Johnston lives in Southern California with her husband and four kids, who are the loves of her life. She is an Enneagram Seven and is enthusiastic about everything—but especially people, travel, and sauces. Jess’s writing makes you feel like you’re sitting cross-legged on her couch in your cozy pants while sharing hearts and drinking coffee. She is the co-author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller I’ll Be There (But I’ll Be Wearing Sweatpants) and has been a top contributor to publications such as HuffPost, Scary Mommy, and Motherly.

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