274 Looking at Behavior Both Inside and Out, with Gabriele Nicolet, MA, CCC-SLP
Jul 25, 2024
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Gabriele Nicolet, a seasoned speech therapist and parent coach, shares insights on understanding children's behavior through both behavioral and neurophysiological lenses. She discusses how to validate kids' feelings without losing control during tough moments, emphasizing co-regulation methods. The conversation also covers the importance of low-demand parenting and the link between hydration and emotional well-being. Gabriele highlights the need for empathy, self-advocacy in children, and offers relatable stories that illuminate these crucial parenting dynamics.
Understanding children's behavior requires recognizing internal physiological processes that signal their emotional states rather than merely labeling them as good or bad.
Validation and co-regulation are essential strategies for parents to foster cooperation and emotional growth in neurodivergent children during challenging moments.
Deep dives
Understanding Behavior in Context
Behavior in children, particularly among neurodivergent individuals, can often be misunderstood as merely instinctual or a choice. In reality, external behaviors are deeply connected to internal physiological processes that influence how children react to their environments. Recognizing the internal states of a child's nervous system is crucial; behaviors such as meltdowns or shutdowns signal distress rather than merely misbehavior. This perspective shifts the focus from labeling behaviors as good or bad to understanding them as signals of what the child is experiencing internally.
The Importance of Validation
Validation is a key strategy in responding to children's emotions and behaviors, especially during challenging moments. When children refuse to comply with requests, such as putting on shoes, acknowledging their feelings can significantly reduce tension and promote cooperation. Parents and caregivers can benefit from approaching these situations with empathy, articulating their understanding of the child's feelings. This approach can not only ease the immediate situation but also build a collaborative relationship that fosters better emotional regulation.
Co-regulation and Its Impact
Co-regulation between parent and child plays a critical role in managing the stress responses of neurodivergent children. When parents maintain a calm demeanor and match their child's emotional energy, they can help facilitate a sense of safety and stability. By demonstrating emotional regulation strategies, like mindful breathing, parents teach children how to navigate intense emotions effectively. This practice not only supports immediate coping mechanisms but also lays the groundwork for developing the child's self-regulation skills.
The Effects of Stress on Learning
High levels of stress can severely impact a child's ability to learn and engage in school. Children with nervous systems that are frequently in a state of stress may perceive even ordinary demands, like transitioning from one activity to another, as daunting challenges. This heightened perception can lead to behaviors such as school avoidance, which ultimately restricts their learning opportunities. Addressing the underlying stressors and creating a more supportive environment can help reestablish a child's capability to learn and thrive.
Do you find it challenging to stay calm and mindful when your child is having a tough time in public? Gabriele Nicolet and I explore understanding kid’s behavior from both behavioral and neurophysiological perspectives. Gabriele, a seasoned speech therapist and parent coach, shares invaluable insights into decoding what behaviors signify about a kid’s internal states and sensory needs. We discuss the importance of validating those needs without letting behavior spiral out of control, and offer practical strategies to co-regulate with your child.
Throughout the episode, you'll gain a profound understanding of the critical balance between encouraging self-advocacy and addressing immediate behavioral issues, especially in kids facing neurodivergent challenges. Gabriele discusses why compliance is often overvalued while genuine self-efficacy starts from a child's early refusals and disagreements. You'll also hear personal anecdotes that bring these concepts to life, offering you relatable scenarios and practical advice for managing everything from sensory discomfort to school avoidance. Don't miss out on learning how to parent with empathy, understand the true roots of your child's behavior, and create a sense of safety and calm in both routine and challenging moments.