73: Romance Was Never Real: From Courtly Love to the Rise of the Fuckboy feat. Sabrina Strings

5 snips

Oct 12, 2024

Sabrina Strings, a UC Santa Barbara professor and author of "The End of Love," joins the discussion to explore the complex intertwining of race, gender, and romance. She critiques how historical notions of love, from courtly ideals to modern realities, perpetuate societal inequalities. The conversation delves into the harmful archetype of the 'fuckboy' and its roots in media portrayals, challenging listeners to rethink romantic norms. Strings emphasizes the need for an evolved understanding of love that defies traditional constraints and embraces inclusivity.

Ask episode

Chapters

Transcript

Episode notes

Intro

00:00 • 2min

Privilege and Dating Dynamics

01:41 • 9min

The Intersection of Desire and Beauty

10:58 • 11min

The Evolution of Desire: From Male-Gaze to Inclusivity in Branding

21:47 • 2min

The Evolution of Romance and Societal Pressures

24:05 • 32min

Unpacking Modern Masculinity: The 'Fuck Boy' Phenomenon

55:36 • 24min

Redefining Love and Romance

01:20:04 • 7min

Concluding Reflections and Future Engagements

01:27:24 • 2min

Abby and Patrick welcome Sabrina Strings, professor and North Hall Chair of Black Studies at UC Santa Barbara, to talk about her new book, The End of Love: Racism, Sexism, and the Death of Romance. The book is both a deep dive into the genealogy of western notions of "romance" - from medieval courtly love to Victorian mother/whore complexes - and a searing critique of contemporary ideologies of love, normative gender roles, practices of dating, and more. Strings takes Abby and Patrick on a journey through how a seemingly abstract "Romantic Ideal" is in fact dependent on histories of racialization, abjection, and a formulation of the bodies of black women as "the commons." Tracing the legacies of these histories to the present, they examine how love, transgressive and otherwise, gets represented in media from Sex and the City and Friends to reality TV shows from Love is Blind to the (undersung) Tool Academy. Must the legacy of Romantic love as a mechanism for perpetuating the social reproduction of inequality and subordination continue to weigh on our relationships today - or are there other possibilities? Plus: a critical theory of the fuckboy!

The End of Love is available here: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-end-of-love-racism-sexism-and-the-death-of-romance-sabrina-strings/20054512?ean=9780807008621

Other key texts cited:

Tressie MacMillan Cottom, “In the Name of Beauty,” in Thick: And Other Essays: https://bookshop.org/p/books/thick-and-other-essays-tressie-mcmillan-cottom/12898635

Shulamith Firestone, “The Culture of Romance,” in the The Dialectic of Sex: The Case for Feminist Revolution: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-dialectic-of-sex-the-case-for-feminist-revolution-shulamith-firestone/21357717

Have you noticed that Freud is back? Got questions about psychoanalysis? Or maybe you’ve traversed the fantasy and lived to tell the tale? Leave us a voicemail! (646) 450-0847

A podcast about psychoanalysis, politics, pop culture, and the ways we suffer now. New episodes on Saturdays. Follow us on social media:

Linktree: https://linktr.ee/OrdinaryUnhappiness
Twitter: @UnhappinessPod
Instagram: @OrdinaryUnhappiness
Patreon: patreon.com/OrdinaryUnhappiness

Theme song:
Formal Chicken - Gnossienne No. 1
https://open.spotify.com/album/2MIIYnbyLqriV3vrpUTxxO
Provided by Fruits Music